Go

Having said everything yesterday, however, change is occurring.

Nothing ever evolves by empty words and blogs, now, does it…

You Wear It Well

This week has changed the game plan. A lot of that has to do with knowing I’m not happy with other people’s handling of mass participative events as someone with historic anxiety issues. Forget for a moment about all the other potential mental complications involved in next week’s Ride London, it’s all about knowing I’m uncomfortable in this situation on my own. Decisions need to be made best on previous experience and best principles.

Taking both of these things into consideration, everything is going to be better off for the next couple of weeks without that pressure. Part of the issue before has been the misguided conception that by entering something, I am then obliged to see it through to the end. This is no longer about commitment or expectation. We have entered the realms of what matters to me, finally, for the first time in many decades. I say this is not a priority now. There are more important things to do.

Let’s get on with it.

Video Killed the Radio Star

It was inevitable, of course, after last week’s 200 plus views triumph of video making and poetry reading that there would be a plan. I’m going to post this and then spend my Friday night making title cards for the next two projects in the series. Without giving anything away, they will be called ‘Wander’ and ‘Golden Mile’, both of which will have a connection to water. They coincide with journeys to two different locations in the next couple of months.

September’s is provisionally entitled ‘Fast as You Can’ and has nothing to do with Fiona Apple. This is me, using my free time as a means to create content, and it helps establish a routine that will get me publishing five poems a month with videos to accompany them. If anything, it will show potential organizations that a) I’m not fucking about and b) I can do my own promotion. Maybe one day someone will pay me for this… who knows?

Whatever the outcome, I am having fun organizing it all…

Fast As You Can

Today has had a lot happen in it. By far the most important part of that is that instead of being distracted by social media, other things have taken place. Instead of being dragged into things I cannot change or alter, I used time to write poetry instead.

Five poems have been sketched to first draft in time that previously did not exist. I would have been mindlessly browsing or being sucked into arguments that, at this moment, do not require my input. Instead, from the tyranny of always being present, I have produced something that makes me happy.

Not all problems are as easily solved, and this is why this time is doubly important. The time I have reclaimed has been used wisely today. Tomorrow may be different. However what is increasingly apparent is that these are problems I can solve alone. This is the key for my next step of professional progress.

You can always be more than you believe is possible.

Broken Wings

Yeah, I was right. Boxing is a game changer. Talking to different people is a game changer, as is giving yourself to your peers with no desire for reward. Some real truths were vocalized for the first time this morning too, which were previously very much not touched for very good reason. Knowing what you are is all well and good, but actually coping with that is something very different indeed. All of this will now undoubtedly result in a significant mental change in the Bagging Area.

Therefore, going forward, we will ensure that things are done is as much of a timely fashion as is possible. Some days, I will be late, and there will be less apologizing at the time. Sometimes, shit just happens and that’s that. There will however be absolutely no apologies for anyone or anything who thinks it’s okay to either belittle or do harm to the progress I have made. I see you, and it’s not happening. I do not need your support if it is laced with caveats or benefits you before me.

We are either in this equally or you can fuck right off.

Hit Me Baby One More Time

Today has been full on, and I’m not done yet. As I type this, I’m waiting in a Zoom space for an Open Mic/Poetry Reading to start. I have a lot to think about as well. There is so much going on, most of which is really difficult to explain, but that’s not necessarily the problem it previously was. I had my first Proper Boxing lesson today and honestly, it’s obvious that this is a bit of a game changer. Now all that needs to happen is my brain to percolate on the consequences…

Last Train to Trancentral

Last few days have been a bit of a rollercoaster. I’ve stopped watching the TV show responsible for filling my brain to capacity, and there will be more on Severance as the week goes on. For now, I’m almost back up to date, have a new project on the go and am ready to go start kicking the arse of a training programme that needs to get me ready to do a 30-mile bike ride and a 10 km run within a week of each other. We’ll get there. For now, however, it’s time to concentrate on adjusting to a bit more hard work everywhere…

Paranoid Android

Well, that was a fucking ride.

I’ll be back to normal eventually. For now, there’s a LOT to think about…

Ghost Town

Quite pleased about this, for a lot of reasons, most of which have to do with output and potential future use. It’s been a bit of a stressful day for other reasons, that were resolved in a better way than has previously been the case. So, it all balances out. I’ve also managed to complete a particularly tricky set of poems for submission. There are potentially two places they can go. Still not sure on one, absolutely set on the other, which makes the task considerably easier.

Tomorrow, I can talk about the TV show I’ve been watching too…

Big Time

The plan has always been to diversify. That means going to sub sites that I might not normally consider. Tomorrow, the first of those is going live. I take this as a distinct sign of progress. I’m also going to do a reasonably unprecedented thing and skip Paragraph 2 and 3 tonight, instead you get a Tweet that began as me giving love to the poets I enjoy and which appears to have had the desired effect. Gotta love it when good things happen to the right people.