I’ve always thought individuality is beautiful. Having the balls to just be what you are, regardless of how unconventional and ridiculous the rest of the World may believe, enforce or present you as being… that’s something to be embraced and nurtured. Speaking as someone who’s never considered herself attractive at any point in her life, the moments when I’ve felt most comfortable are inevitably those when I’ve just been relaxed in my own skin. Other people tell me stuff but it takes quite a bit to believe them. Instead, I don’t think about that much, if at all.
I simply focus on what I believe I’m good at.
When I take a picture now, it is because I’m not ashamed of myself any more. For a very long time I didn’t like the notion of being photographed. It made me nervous, I felt awkward and uncomfortable. Of course, that was nothing to do with the act and everything to do with my head. Now, I snap myself a lot because I feel that I posses more internal confidence. Of course, people take this as vanity, because that’s why everyone else takes pictures of themselves. This is the problem when you judge an action on your own need to do it. Everyone is different. I don’t need to make people like me, or love me, or indeed feel any other emotion at all. I have the pictures as evidence I am happier with myself than I have been for many years.
That’s the point of all of this. It makes me feel better.
When I smile now, I actually mean it. This isn’t forced or deliberate deception. It is really me, looking at the world and realising, actually, this isn’t that bad at all.
I don’t feel happy for your benefit. I do it for me.