Absence

I missed a day, which is annoying because I’d been doing so well with at least checking in, but the last couple of entries have been hardly explanatory, so I should expand a bit.

The early morning for Podcast #2 is taking some getting used to, but this week was a considerable improvement. Mostly that’s due to me deliberately not looking at a screen of any kind for an hour before bed, and so I’ll keep that up in future. Monday and Tuesday have seen the first proper sounds of reader criticism coming for my attitudes and stances on the Gaming Blog, and I’m coping with the knowledge that some people aren’t interested in what I do if that means I won’t be overly positive. I write what I want, more or less, or else you start noticing how much of a fraud I undoubtedly am. Perilously few people are publicly prepared to stand up and say ‘boo’ to the company any more anyway, everyone has their deals with the Devil and their reciprocal arrangements to consider. Me, I do this because I love the game. When I stop, I’ll fuck off.

There needs to be a dissenting voice somewhere, or trust me when I say life gets boring really very fast.

There’s been some minor personal epiphanies too, most of which are on the back of what happened on Friday. At some point I will talk about what happened in more detail, but trust me when I say to you that only happens when I’m comfortable. That’s gonna take a while. Bear with me on all of this, because these are life changes I’m making with quite significant impacts. Anyone who thinks you stop learning once you leave education really needs to understand just how complicated life can be sometimes. Needless to say, LOTS TO LEARN.

Finally, I have grasped that often those who are overly critical of you are probably doing exactly the same thing themselves and decide that it’s easier to blame someone else instead of look within. In that case, you really are better served ignoring them altogether. Of course the moment you do this there’s the potential for more drama, but there comes a point where ‘fuck it I don’t care we have nothing to say to each other’ becomes a greater feeling than that slightly awkward English politeness that simply makes you pretend you’re not paying attention.

If people want drama, they can stop trying to find it with me.