Sometimes, you make a judgement call and wonder if you did it right.
A lot of my business right now is talking to other people, and in gaming terms that *should* mean streaming. Except, live TV has a lot of potential pitfalls, which is what in essence Twitch and YouTube are selling to a generation. You have to be there first, and now. Except actually? You so don’t. It isn’t about immediacy for a lot of people, they need the time and thought to consider the stuff that’s being thrown at them.
In that case, first is a positive disadvantage.
I realised at 1.30 am this morning being first is largely pointless when all I’m talking is crap, or all I’m covering is the same shit everyone else does. The world doesn’t need more people like that, it demands more reasoned approaches, especially with the speed news can change in the modern world. Part of me doesn’t want to be the popular choice any more, or the Name du Jour that people will remember now but forget tomorrow. Mostly, I don’t actually care about that side of things at all. I just want to do what I do best, which is write. Not Guides, or Databases, or websites full of pointless crap that becomes irrelevant after X months. I am aiming for a living, breathing journey that is honest and challenging with every step.
Mostly, I’m not going to be sucked into a life I do not want.
This weekend’s been one of the most emotionally challenging of my entire life, and absolutely the last thing I’m about to do is throw myself into a new way of working that forgets what I’m fundamentally here for. I live for the words, not the images: I am imagination, not demonstration. That should be left to those who do it better than me, and I have no desire to even go there. I remain a commentator, and in this case I will take the mantle of Correspondent, with the occasional aside to the live and current. Mostly, I will sit and reflect on the present as I see it and how that will affect everything I do.
Mostly, I’m too old for this shit.