I’ve never responded well to change, and I realise that that is at least in part responsible for my emotional shifts in the last couple of months. What I could really use right now is both emotional and intellectual comfort food, chicken and bread sauce for the soul. I have to keep checking myself, every step I take, to ensure I’m actually going in the direction I want to be, and with weeks like the last one to contend with, often it can feel like you’re just going backwards. Then I look at the physical changes to myself and realise that actually? I’m not as badly off as I thought.
When it was suggested the reason I might not have lost any weight for as long as I have could be because I’d exchanged so much fat this time around for muscle? I’ll admit I initially scoffed. However, yesterday I actually took a quite serious look at my body and actually? Yup, there are muscles in places I don’t remember, especially the upper half of my body. This has galvanised me into spending the week before Half Term getting a bit focussed on sticking some miles under my belt. That includes making a concerted effort on Wednesday to break the 30k step barrier and earn my Fitbit badge. Because life is nothing without Achievements.
This week therefore is about balancing words, actions and deeds. I have THREE interviews planned, a relaunch of a serialised story and the Novel to knock into shape on top of all of this too, and actually having so much to do is great, because it gives me a direct focus on where to go and what can be achieved. Mostly, I realise now I work best when I have a plan. All of this is written down, and now its time to cut the talk and get on with it. Once the School Run is done? I’ll be off for the morning.
See you on the other side.