Black Dog

Yesterday was a horrible day. When you’re staring at a screen at 11am and crying your eyes out? You know the situation has the potential to go South very fast. Fortunately for me the Internet saved my sanity, and I feel I ought to sit here and thank everybody who offered me a smile when I really desperately needed one. Those moments are undoubtedly crucial when you are trying to steer your life down a particular road: however, all the help in the world is completely academic if you do not decide to take what is offered. Being happy is a very delicate balancing act, and I watch many people get irate when it is suggested that you can find it, or create it as you see fit.

Happiness is an incredibly complex equation of factors. You’ll see people write books telling you how to find it, or the circumstances in which it can be ‘created’ but mostly? It’s all bollocks. The best way to be happy, a family member told me, was to just not think and of all the ‘solutions’ I’ve ever heard, it is this one that actually possesses the most merit. Because if you remain ignorant of everything except yourself? Yeah, I reckon you could be pretty happy. In fact I’ve watched a few people this week carry on as if they are the only person for whom you should care about, and that’s never going to end well.

Appreciating others is worth a lot of happiness, often without you realising.


What was most revelatory yesterday was where my happiness came from: people before who’ve been problematic, that I’ve spoken to about their behaviour whilst the time we’ve interacted with each other? They turned up and provided the goods, and I was surprised. There is always the opportunity for individuals to do this, but after a  while you learn that unless someone is prepared to show that they’re listening? It’s often easier just to ignore them when they start being dumb. The irony is, of course, that once you begin to become more proactive with your dealings with relative strangers, the rewards increase for everybody. Just randomly ranting or attacking people is great for a single Tweet or the occasional Blog post, but if all you do is single invividuals out for destruction without showing you understand the consequences of the action? There needs to be the acceptance that you’re trying to be better when other people make the effort to do the same.

Mostly, I wanted to thank everybody who helped banish my black dog yesterday, because I saw you all and the effort was noted. More significantly, it has helped me going forward, for which I will continue to be very grateful indeed.