I’m not very good at building my part up on most days, but when it comes to entertainment? I think I’m FUCKING FABULOUS. Mostly this is because nobody else is going to have the belief that you’re writing a good story, and if all this time and effort’s going to be shoved summarily into words? You really need to believe your own hype. The only time this falls down is when you present something unannounced, and that’s why I will now be eternally grateful to the people who read my stuff before it becomes common knowledge to the whole damn world. I’ve come to believe the friends who tell me that I can string not only a decent sentence together, but that I can create a compelling narrative, and that actually this matters quite a bit. After that, you just have to keep picking different sets of words. That’s the theory, anyway.
Proving your worth however, at least for me, is of limited interest right now. A lot of the time I just do this for self-gratification, to get the stories out of my brain, and don’t really care that much who else reads them. YES OF COURSE I’d love to have a wider audience, but who wouldn’t for ANYTHING AT ALL. Whether you’re crocheting cats or designing sculptures or even building space rockets the dream often isn’t what you want, its that desire that some random stranger comes up to you and goes ‘coo, that’s ace that is’ because random validation is the best. It’s also potentially the way to destroy your confidence and make you hide in a corner, so there’s two sides of the coin to consider. I’ll be honest, mostly I’m here just to make the stories work and to entertain a few friends in the process. I find it hard to believe anyone would be interested beyond that. So, I’m on the wish fulfilment train here, and actually everything is going swimmingly.
I think that officially makes today a Good Day (TM)