Together

Day Six: Yes, I’m fucking middle class, twats who love to label shit. I make no pretensions as to what I am. So when someone comes up with a bright idea to show your support for the open and welcoming nature of this county to ANYONE who wants to live and work in it? Yes, I’m gonna do that, even in a town where welcoming is often a dirty word, and where xenophobia isn’t just alive, its kicking your teeth in. Don’t start with me that this is an empty gesture and will do no good. You sitting there voting QUICK LEAVE EUROPE BEFORE ITS TOO LATE was what started this whole shit storm to begin with. I’m not a sore loser, I’m just fucking terrified because I know what’s going to happen. Nobody’s gonna save us now except ourselves. Don’t expect the Labour Party to step up and somehow salvage this situation, they’re too busy fucking self-destructing too.

In good news, it’s unlikely we’ll get to leave the EU until Parliament enacts a Bill, and good luck getting THAT through Parliament with the Scots as shit hot as they remain (absolute pun intended.)

Until that happens, I’m wearing a #safetypin, and if you don’t know why? Read about it here:

Then, there’s the Conservative Party elections. YOU SHOULD BE SCARED.

It is a sad state of affairs when you grasp that you’d rather have Cameron stay in charge than be replaced by the people who seem to want the job. In fact, having voted none of these twats into power to begin with? It all seems completely and utterly ludicrous. In Good News however I’ve only shouted at the radio once since 7am and that’s on 7 hours sleep, so things are improving.

At least the Football is back tonight, and Andy Murray’s still in Wimbledon.

It’s not Apocalypse Now, but it’s getting close.

Fear

Day Five: I woke at 4am, and could not get back to sleep and so got up early and have written ever since, with breaks for the School Run. Part of me, inevitably, has accepted fate. However, that has allowed a measure of relaxation I’ve not felt since Thursday, and means the creativity has begun to really flow. I did my Monday PT yesterday (because my trainer was away) and feel stronger this morning. I don’t care about weight right now because I know full well how much better I look and that fat is being replaced by muscle at a fairly constant rate. So much am I inspired there is a better than average chance I will be in the Gym later, if only to walk there and back and get my 12k on the board.

Strange things are most definitely afoot.

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I am surprisingly unafraid now, despite the continuing uncertainty. I am coping far better than I ever anticipated I would, with whatever is currently being hurled at me. I’m not going to knock it either, just keep doing what I am and seeing where we go. The exercise has already paid for itself, in spades, that it is not just physical strength being afforded by the changes. Mentally, I am getting tougher too, and that includes knowing when I don’t want a discussion with someone because there is a better than average chance I’ll lose my temper with their stupidity.

In that regard, this last five days might yet end up as a triumph.

Fairytale

Day Four: Stupid shows no sign of diminishing. The notion of effort is brought to light watching 11 blokes on a football pitch who didn’t have a fucking clue what to do when they went behind in their game. I am beyond sad at the fact these ‘players’ are paid ridiculous amounts of money to do a job for a club, but haven’t got the first sense of desire when it comes to representing their country. If money is the only motivation, I’d point to the side that beat them as what it really means to understand both passion and commitment to a national side. This country has no identity any more, when you take away multiculturalism and diversity. People become a bunch of xenophobic, whiny arsebiscuits.

I watched this play out this morning after my PT session at the Gym. Sitting waiting for breakfast, I watched three people over the age of 60 swan up to the Bar while staff were busy serving and stop everything just so they could solve what were stupidly petty problems. One involved looking down to one end of said Bar where items were stored, and picking one up, but this was indeed too much for this particular woman who clearly decided that for her membership? Everybody else does the work. I talked about this at length with my trainer: in her 30 clients, she counts six (including me) who will make an effort, and want to try and improve fitness and appearance over time. Everybody else presumably pays the cash to tell their friends they train, yet nothing changes.

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Things only work if there’s effort from both sides, people. It’s not rocket science.

It also occurs to me that you can explain anything away with enough skill, but that never solves a problem. The only way, in the end, to make things change is to find the strength within yourself to affect that. It is apparent that those who are afraid of what this means will often prefer to be unhappy than scared. In fact, some live in a world where unhappy is their default state because it just makes things easier to deal with. That’s staggering, when you think about it: only one life to lead and yet you would rather not challenge yourself or affect change because the consequences are out of your hands. Except that’s really not true, even though the events of the last four days would seem to confirm just how dangerous it is to say what you really feel.

Life isn’t supposed to be easy, people, though if you’re lucky it will be quiet and without drama. Sometimes, shit just happens, and the measure of you as a person is how that gets dealt with. Right now, an awful lot of people’s true colours are showing, and it is not pretty.

If you can’t be good, then maybe just be quiet.

Bang Bang

The straight jacket of true love’s fine
If you’re Houdini in your spare time…

Day Three of ‘Living with #Brexit’ and I’m still shouting at the radio. I threw a sock at George Osborne, because a flare up of IBS after three days of bad eating is more reassuring than he was this morning. There is now the understanding in my mind that nobody had a fucking clue what would happen if Leave won. In fact, you have to wonder why, at some point, someone in Government didn’t stand up and ask what the plan was. All those Civil Servants and planners and strategists and NOBODY thought to put up a hand and say ‘excuse me, so what is the procedure should the country vote to leave the EU?’ It’s no wonder it’s taken three days for the Chancellor to get here, he probably couldn’t actually find the way out of his own house because nobody told him where that was.

Great Britain my fucking arse.

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@DavidAllenGreen is my voice of sanity in all this stupid, after I read an article of his at the weekend which states, without hysteria or anger, that #Brexit’s effectively a sham. Until we tell Europe we’re leaving by invoking Article 50? Nothing changes. The fact Cameron decided to resign and devolve responsibility away for himself one last time does not making him a fucking hero, people queuing up to tell me he is. This is the guy, remember, who fucked a pig’s head (allegedly) when he was a student and never ran our country effectively at any point. I’d love to point you at David Allen Green’s website for a much needed dose of sanity but as you can see it’s proven so popular that the bandwidth limit’s imploded. Typical.

Of course it would be fabulous at this point if we had any effective political opposition to stand up against the Conservative Party, but every time I refresh Twitter this morning someone else has left the Labour Party Shadow Cabinet or is calling for the most popular grassroots leader for like EVER to step down because clearly we don’t want an actual politician in charge, there needs to be somebody who would look good outside Number 10. I caught a snatch of audio on Radio 4 this morning, before I turned off in disgust, that suggested that Corbyn is not charismatic or indeed ‘safe’ enough to be in charge. It is a genuinely sad state of affairs when the only person talking sense isn’t even available in your Country:

I have always loved Scotland. I wonder if they’d love me without dinner and a movie first.

It isn’t as if we can fix this either. As old people start shouting at others to fuck off back to their own homes, when they were born here, and the Far Right can start attacking anyone without fear of reprisal, honestly there is nobody left. We need Robin Hood back, or maybe some kind of supreme being to step in and call order.

Our country’s become a fucking laughing stock, because 51% of the country voted for change.

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What’s stupidest of all is that this happened last Thursday. I’d always expected the fall of civilisation to take a lot longer that three days, if I’m honest, but if this is what a simple yes/no question is capable of producing in my country? I’d be VERY SCARED INDEED for anywhere else that’s not got its eye very much on the ball. Spain’s tried a couple of times now to get government working and appears to be failing, so I realise we’re not alone. Oh, and America? I don’t want to worry you too much but really? Get your heads out of your asses now, because November is only four months away, and I do NOT want to be standing here telling you ‘well, we warned you..’

If it wasn’t so sad right now, it would be funny. People who were friends last week on Facebook are now blocking each other in the mistaken belief that will make things better. The problem is, the moment you walk outside your front door? The horror remains. You can’t down-vote it or send a report to the Government in the hope you can get these people banned. They’re half the fucking country. You put up with it for decades and now, because they all decided to vote Leave? That’s what we have to deal with. EVERYBODY now has a responsibility to improve things, but without effective leadership? Fat fucking chance, and now I’m going to watch months of political machinations on both sides of the fence and NOTHING WILL CHANGE.

What a stupid shower of shit British Politics has now become.

New Europeans

I’m still very, VERY angry. It will take quite some time for this to diminish, I know, and as it does an awful lot of other stuff is likely to change forever. That’s what an apocalypse does to people. You don’t need an invading alien force or a nuclear warhead. Something that shatters your entire world view will work just as well.

In the midst of it all, my husband stood up and put into words what I couldn’t, and I realise that I love him more now than at any point in the time we have been together. If anyone wants to try and derail me at this point, you’ll need more than a shoddy Twitter alias or some badly worded/spelt rhetoric. It ain’t happening. I am now fucking unsinkable.

What this county needed, in the months leading up to this utter disaster, was an actual Government, which we haven’t had since… well, quite some time. One can only hope that in future, if people can’t accurately compare the political market without the use of a website, they leave it to people who can. Of course, that’s not democracy, but right now this isn’t either, because the people I voted for aren’t in power and the people who are are effectively holding half the country to ransom. If I’d voted to Brexit I’d be feeling pretty fucking aggrieved right now. If that’s not properly dealt with, the consequences are far more insidious and terrible than any well placed warhead or unexpected arrival from the heavens.

I really hope people understand what they began when they decided to choose a side.

Yesterday

I wonder, a thousand years from now when historians teach children about the early 21st Century, whether 2016 will be the moment when the whole landscape of the planet changed forever. Then I look at how long Humanity has existed in the timeline of the Planet, and then the Universe, and I start to laugh, long and hard, at the spectacular fucking arrogance not only of myself, but everybody else.

Just because it happens TO YOU, doesn’t mean it matters one iota in the bigger scheme of Everything.

Never forget your place, and don’t expect history to remember your contribution.

History is not about noise, but substance.

Today

I voted at 8.45am. On the way, I saved three snails from an unfortunate fate on the path to and from both School Run and Polling Booth. I wish, sometimes, a cosmic being would reach down from the sky and pick us up when the path that’s being trodden is fraught with danger, but if you cannot see outside your own shell?

Does it matter, and should you care?

Yes, you really should, because whatever now happens in the next 24 hours? I voted for what I felt was right, and with my conscience, and it actually mattered.

Today, therefore, is a good day. As for what’s next?

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