Fear

Day Five: I woke at 4am, and could not get back to sleep and so got up early and have written ever since, with breaks for the School Run. Part of me, inevitably, has accepted fate. However, that has allowed a measure of relaxation I’ve not felt since Thursday, and means the creativity has begun to really flow. I did my Monday PT yesterday (because my trainer was away) and feel stronger this morning. I don’t care about weight right now because I know full well how much better I look and that fat is being replaced by muscle at a fairly constant rate. So much am I inspired there is a better than average chance I will be in the Gym later, if only to walk there and back and get my 12k on the board.

Strange things are most definitely afoot.

tractordonuts

I am surprisingly unafraid now, despite the continuing uncertainty. I am coping far better than I ever anticipated I would, with whatever is currently being hurled at me. I’m not going to knock it either, just keep doing what I am and seeing where we go. The exercise has already paid for itself, in spades, that it is not just physical strength being afforded by the changes. Mentally, I am getting tougher too, and that includes knowing when I don’t want a discussion with someone because there is a better than average chance I’ll lose my temper with their stupidity.

In that regard, this last five days might yet end up as a triumph.