Violently Happy

I thought today was gonna be the one when I gave up, went home and just crawled back into bed. Then, I surprised myself, pushed to the Gym, walked for an hour and upped all my weights in the process.

I am oddly sanguine about everything. Even the poached eggs tasted better this morning, green tea making my throat tingle. I got rice stuck in the windpipe last night during dinner. I think it’s all gone, I can exhale now without a wheeze.

I made a doctor’s appointment to see the Asthma nurse, to get my peak flow tested (that’s a science way of saying lung capacity.) I want to see if my muscles are improving there, too. I’m also really looking forward to having my back adjusted during sports massage. Lots of things hurt, but none enough to be an inconvenience.

I’m fighting tired. My husband calls my exhaustion a First World Problem. I suppose he’s right. I’m just annoyed I never worked on all of this sooner. I’m really pleased that it is in my hands however to change for good, that I’m not reliant on anybody else.

I’m slowly, gradually moving forward. But it’s still progress.