By now, on an average day, I’d have drunk at least three large cups of tea. Today, I’ve had just one. I’d have stopped logging food for calorie content too, but that’s not the case as of now. It is time to stop fucking about and go cold turkey on all the things I’ve been using to keep me going. It is the moment to look at my weight and be honest about it. This is where I get serious, and stuff changes.
I know what’s good in this number and that’s fine. The bad has come from not doing this properly, and by that I mean actually sticking to my task. The rules are now simple: I weigh myself once a week, on a Friday morning. There is no snacking and absolutely no feeling sorry for myself, or moaning about shit to you good people. I withdraw everything and I just get over the cravings and the issues and we see, if I REALLY make an effort, if I can’t at least hit the 160 pound limit by Christmas. I’d love to get to 150 but I’m not actually sure I’ll need to if I can shift these excess inches, and they do exist. I’m not being unfair on my body, I can see it all sitting now on top of muscles that weren’t there before. I only intend to add to those. Everything else needs to go.
Also, if I’m going to survive the hormonal onslaught I know is not over yet by a long way? Sugar’s just going to convert to fat if I eat it. I gotta stay focused and with sources of energy that aren’t destructive. Having a goal is great, sticking to it becomes something else. I can take away the bad, if I work hard enough. Less caffeine, less empty calories, and allowing my body to stop depending on a sugar rush from things that just don’t help. If I can keep myself occupied and stop obsessing about what I’d like to eat, everything will be fine. Focusing on strength, power and attainment is what I should do.
It’s what is going to happen.
I know what I’m capable of, and I’m going to fucking well do it.