This is the closest I’ve come to quitting exercising for quite some time.
Yup, four days, and I still couldn’t bend down correctly this morning. I knew I had to at least try and repeat the Challenge, and so went in and did 20 minutes Cardio before I began. My time to beat was 24 minutes, and I’d been at it for 30 when I realised I was 50 reps behind and in enough pain that I cried. Yeah, in the middle of the Gym I just sat down and hid under a towel for five minutes while I bawled my eyes out. Suddenly this wasn’t any fun any more. When I got up my left leg gave and I almost fell over. I hobbled out to the Changing Rooms and sat for ten minutes, with the realisation that suddenly this all got very hard and far more real than it had ever been.
This would have been the moment that Old Me would have given up, but I don’t do failure any more. I accept the issues and work to make them better and today that meant hobbling out of the Gym, understanding that I’m a long way from the person I want to be, but have come too far to stop now. It means icing my right shoulder and going to get Sushi as dinner and not caving to takeout. It also means a 30 second plank before bedtime and 30 second plank in the morning, however uncomfortable my legs feel. Mostly, it is kicking the crap out of my self doubt and making sure I stay on the wagon.
Nobody said this would be easy or fun. Change is hard and painful, and today just proves that if you don’t hurt, it won’t work. I’m not going to let this beat me. I am going to get the weight loss happening again and myself healthier every day. I already know this is a big step forward, and even if I’m in pain tomorrow, we’re gonna make it.
I’m going to get there.