Nothing Left Tolouse

I don’t want it to be more than one day since I post something personal. However, I really have no desire to talk about myself right now, except I think I probably ought to. I’m really not doing anywhere close to a decent fist at communicating with either family and friends, and I know why. It isn’t just because I’m totally immersed in a story I now need to tell, but also because hormonally I am in a  fucking mess. It isn’t just the early morning wake-ups because of the heat, but now it is hormones getting angry in a way I only remember from the most brutal of menstrual months, the ones where I’d be reduced to tears because I couldn’t adequately communicate. I never learnt to do it then, and now I’m suffering.

I’m sorry I’m not my normal cheery self. I apologise that the Real World is making me cross. I hate that so much of what I want to do is out of my hands or is happening so slowly it is frustrating the life out of me. I’m trying not to start fights or stoke fires, but sometimes it just happens, and most importantly of all I’m trying to do things that don’t involve me ranting at nutters online. That’s why I’m spending more and more time in my made up world and less time in gaming, because my fuse for people’s persistant complaint has pretty much burnt out.

Most of all, I’m looking for people who understand, when a lot of people are just here for my ‘brand’ and frankly, that’s the last thing I really want to do. I’m really sorry if you’re here and expecting more, but right now, I have nothing left to give you.

This story is what I really need to do. If you can understand, that would be awesome.