Well Done

Congratulations, we made it to February.

Okay, so it ain’t all great. Who are we kidding here, life remains shitty as fuck but the resilience is increasing, day by day. I have some grand plans this month, which WILL INVOLVE FINISHING MY NOVEL DAMMIT. The end of the World will not prevent this from happening, because in the ashes of the Dystopian Future we’re careening towards, I will ride a tricycle from village to village and tell my tales by the burning remains of BMW’s and Audis, as wild packs of feral dogs pick off the slow and injured remains of humanity. So, it’s all good, and there’ll be nobody left to criticise my bad narrative choices to begin with.


Before the end of all things, I have a few things to impart and discuss first.

My Gym has a monthly ‘Membership Feedback’ event where you can go complain at how terrible everything is. I’m increasingly of the mindset I need to go and complain about all the entitled members of the Club who make the staff’s lives utter misery, that I end up watching and boggling at when I go to eat. I’ve learnt a thing or two about rewards in my time playing games, and it occurs to me that a well-thought out essay on how you don’t use rewards as a way to pit one group of employees against the other might be in order. I’ll write it for impact too, because I do my best work with a script. These poor people deserve better, and maybe everybody would be happier if they weren’t constantly competing against each other.


After that, I’ll share news that I broke on Twitter: I’ve lost three inches from my chest. Having gone back to measure my boobs for the first time in several years, because I was fairly confident I’d put on mass thanks to exercise, it transpires the opposite is true. Body has shifted down, not up, from a 36C to a 34DD. It also means that bra buying just got considerably more complicated, and when I’m done here it is time to see what can be found in my size online. This revelation accompanied a day at the local out of town Shopping Complex with the youngest, which is the most fun outdoors I’ve had for some time. YAY for Retail Therapy.


Oh yeah, and the Washing Machine/Dryer caught fire today. Nope, I’m not making a drama out of it. We just bought a replacement online. Sometimes, it is just simpler to accept the loss and move on. Which reminds me, as I booked an engineer to come repair it under Warranty and had to wait a week for that to happen? I should probably cancel that now. Because you know, the Washing Machine’s going out the back door tomorrow. I bet if we left it out front someone would steal it in short order. Welcome to Britain, where recycling happens when nobody is looking.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a metric fucktonne of wet washing to hang on radiators.