New Life

You can, for a while, quite happily pretend that even as the World collapses around you, everything is fine. I watch people do this every day. The speed at which we adapt to change is, after all, as unique as eye colour and shoe size. However, I will admit that I’ve been loathed to accept that my body is changing: not in a bad way, anything but. This morning, even though I feel pretty shitty (sinus infection can nick off) I found myself accepting that what used to pass for tight jeans are no longer so. In fact, the more I look at it, everything is smaller. Not just waist, but arse and legs no longer fill out the bits of trousers they did. The top I’m wearing now stretches around my upper arms. Somewhere between Christmas and here, real change is happening.

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This process has taken 16 years, people. It has experienced myriad false starts. I’ve been lighter than this, sure, but I’ve never been this fit or indeed healthy, because before a sinus issue like this would have completely buggered my ability to function. Yesterday, however, I fought it. Even when I was out of breath and suffering on a treadmill I didn’t stop. I pushed to do extra stuff I wouldn’t normally have even tried. There was no consideration of ‘oh, not well, better stop’ because I grasp how important exercise has become in keeping me fit, both mentally and physically. I’ll grant you I’m having trouble thinking straight right now, but that’s more fatigue and getting a washing machine fitted last night.

Most significantly of all, the fat that had sat around my waist for what seems like forever is undoubtedly diminishing.

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I really miss cake. I realise I’ll never get used to certain teas without honey. I can hear my sweet tooth in my head, trying so very hard to derail my effort, and I will admit I sneaked a Graze Honeycomb Flapjack or two into the evenings this week simply because I was desperate, but as I’m still at least 90% virtuous on most occasions, it isn’t pushing back my cause. I’ve also lost weight again this week according to my scales, which interestingly have recorded my lowest BMI since I started this whole things seriously in May. I’m now genuinely curious as to what the ‘official’ scales will register on Monday. Last weekend’s normal Takeaway even got supplanted by a healthier alternative, and I’m now beginning to think I might have changed for the better.

These are exciting times ahead.