Fear :: Eleven

Seven minutes before my pie is cooked. 15 minutes to eat it before I leave for the Gym. I’ve sent a text message to my daughter to remind her I’ll be late for School pickup by about 20 minutes. I remembered to reschedule the dental Hygienist I had booked for Wednesday but made a mortality joke in the process. That’s a first. My husband’s cracked about five a day since all this started, which I suspect is the only indicator I’m going to get that he’s as nervous as I am. When in doubt, defer to humour whenever possible, because HEY YOU NEVER KNOW, RIGHT?

How could you function if you didn’t let go of all this baggage? There’s been a lot of questions in my head like this in the last few days, as it registers that this is something that other people just deal with in their stride. I’ve never really had a true medical emergency before. My pneumonia when it happened in 2004 was pretty much by accident. I just ended up in Hospital before I really registered what was going on and by the time the reality sunk in I was sitting in an isolation ward with an Oxygen tube up my nose they were already considering a discharge.

I like to try and invent drama sometimes. Never doing that EVER AGAIN, like fuck no not EVER. I would like a quiet life and the minimum amount of fuss. I don’t think that is too much to ask.