It occurs to me that I should now make a mark in the sand and begin writing after the Op and not still continue to live ‘before’ and so here I am, having forced myself into a lie in. Pain is doable on the lower tier of painkillers provided, I’m more aware than I was last night, but there are still issues with blood rushing in my ears and occasional balance, and if that continues for another 24 hours I will talk to someone medically about treatment. Considering how dehydrated I still am (which is now being dealt with) plus the fact its still not 48 hours since it all happened, I need to get myself back to feeling normal as quickly as possible. Sensitivity has always been a problem, after all.
However, the ability to self-edit and need to make sense in a blog post is a good indicator that awareness has improved. There’s been a bit of shock in the last few days, processing everything that happened before, and on reflection a lot of that was needed to understand issues with my ability to cope under pressure that I’ve never really considered. I also grasp a lot more about how my mind reacts to situations than I ever did previously: there’s lots of notes to be made, but right now the biggest concern is my attention wandering, mostly because the drugs don’t seem to sit well in my body.
I’ve also got some genuine issues with the hospital care that I want to bring up with someone, and I suspect that will probably be done in a letter. I was given a ‘care quality’ survey on arrival and told how important it was to fill in: well, there were shortfalls in the process, and having asked for extra help because I was anxious, none was offered at any point. This concerns me considerably, and needs further thought going forward. For now however I will simply continue to take it slow and steady. I can have a shower after lunch and the dressings can come off, and then we will see where things stand from there.