Once upon a Time, I thought I’d found a niche for myself, and for a brief and glorious period basked in what was a pretty sweet spotlight. Then, when I took a long, hard look at the people working that same space, it became apparent that there really wasn’t much in common between me and them, and if this remained my path it would end up being quite a lonely journey. It was at that point that the true revelations began to surface: being alone wasn’t really a problem, I didn’t need to be popular… what mattered more was saying what needed to be spoken. Often, these brought me to blows with those who thought that having your own opinion and standing by it was nothing more than ‘causing trouble.’
Yes, I suppose it was.
Gone are the days however of wanting to antagonise people. Yes, the urge surfaces from time to time, yet now comes the revelation that there are simply better things to do with the time. If something’s done well, I’ll praise it. Make a hash of something and it’ll be pointed out. The desires have been sublimated, reconstituted into other pursuits: getting physically fit and staying there, learning about the world around me and ultimately, becoming a better writer. Once the desire to win has been eliminated, when there comes a true understanding of why loss is important, a lot of life makes a great deal more sense. Victory has evolved into progress. For someone who spent a lot of time fixating over what that really means, that has been a very tough lesson to finally grasp.
It is not by any means learnt yet either.
Today starts a concerted and very personal project which, I hope, will educate me better as a writer and others as to what exists outside the Internet, and how that platform is rapidly subverting and altering so much of our daily lives. Doing it alone is probably one of the most frightening tasks I have ever undertaken. I don’t have the crutch of someone else’s massive game or personality to support me with either. It is just me and the words. This matters a lot, so I am going to do my utmost to make it a success. I need to make my thoughts reality, to show that finally it is possible to build a concept from your own ideas and create something totally unique and special.
I hope you will consider joining me as this new journey begins.