I have already written this morning about how not liking a film does not make it bad, irrelevant or a waste of time. This morning someone linked me a ‘quote’ from some US personality I’ve never heard of with a six-figure follower Twitter account bemoaning how awful the Social media platform is. Except for me, it isn’t. Without it I’d not be on the way to my best month for interest and support since my journey began. There’d not be a group of people I care about and whom support what I am. Yes, I’ll grant you, certain people who use Twitter create a toxic, unhelpful atmosphere, but that’s not everybody, and shoving us in the shit with these reprobates is no longer acceptable.

If people stopped taking the fucking bait 24/7 all that would vanish overnight.

This year I’m building a base of operations with those who get the point. If we’re lucky, over the course of the next 362 days, there might be a chance of enlightening other people to the folly of the flock mentality. There’s no manifesto or plan here, there’s not an objective to cross off. You sure as fuck won’t find me sitting here, telling you how big and beautiful my objectives are. If everybody can be a critic, it is time for the girl with depression to become an optimist. You’re not pissing on my fucking fireworks, there’ll be a demarcation dispute. That’s my job pal, so you can stop telling me how awful the World is, because it’s not.

It is people like you that allow others to ruin it for everybody else, and that stops now.

What is undoubtedly depressing, on reflection, is how much of the current trend of DudeBro behaviour mirrors that which I’ve experienced in gaming over the last decade. All that suppressed toxic masculinity which used to leak out at the edges when there was a hint of people not getting the loot they wanted or being included in the raid team…? That’s now amplified a billion times over via the leader of the United States of America. My nuclear button is bigger than yours is so fucking ridiculous it beggars belief, yet that goes on every day in the Real World. I look better than you. I make more money than you. I’m more depressed than you are. My life is so much better/worse than yours. All these have one thing in common: sticking self as Centre of the Universe.


Social media just makes this worse, and the temptation (when addressing an audience) is to play to their interests. Except that’s not the point of being true to yourself. If all you’re here for is to make it about you? Yeah, the dopamine hit’s great and all, but take it from an expert here. This is not the path to true happiness. The drugs don’t work. The only person who can affect long term change in you is you. In shock news, money won’t do it, or popularity. The ultimate enlightenment of self is in understanding what you truly are.

There’s a drama that starts on BBC1 this weekend called Hard Sun, written by the guy who wrote Luther. If I play you the trailer, it will give away the central conceit for the concept, so if you want to come to it cold… stop reading and watching from this point onwards.

If you knew that there was only five years of your life left, what would you do? That’s what sits at the central point of the Hard Sun narrative, and it creates a wonderful set of oppositions in dramatic terms. We all assume at some point, as human beings, we are invincible and immortal. Neither of these are true and everyone will, at some point, reach their end. Science may yet change that, but the reality is far more likely that an extinction event can and will wipe the human slate clean. Depending on who you believe, that may already be in motion with Global Warming, which makes Hard Sun all the more relevant as drama.

What makes far more sense, at least to me, is to assume that we’re on a far shorter timeline than would seem logical. Are you living a good life NOW, and making sure that you maintain that for those you will leave behind? Are you making things better and not fucking them up with your own thoughtlessness and arrogance? When push comes to shove, is it better to live and die in decency than destroy yourself with bitterness and regret? If you cannot avoid your inevitable demise, how should that make you feel and act as a result? I know an awful lot of people are angry right now. Think of what might get changed if all that anger were channelled into constructive responses.


I’m tired of being told to shut up because nothing will ever change. That’s utter bullshit, and I’m going to prove that point not only for today, but every day after that I’m lucky enough still to exist. Sure, there will be days when years of abuse and belittlement by others will get to me, but I’m not allowing other people’s fucking stupidity to ruin the time I have left. Fuck that and fuck them. My future is no longer others to dictate, and I’ll take my chances with everything else as a result.

If you want a better life, get out there and start making one.

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