It’s taken about two months, if I’m honest, but today I muted Warcraft content in my Twitter feed. I didn’t feel there could be honestly on my gaming blog as to why: it’s taken about an hour to do the maths and grasp actual reason. There are a huge number of complex relationships that weave around the yearly Convention for the game (Blizzcon) and yesterday, following a conversation back to its source, a really significant fact registered for the first time.
So many people are not, and never have been, my friends.
You guys all have your cliques and your Guilds and your interest groups and honestly, truthfully, I belong in none of them. The people who I once really cared about, that there was actual affinity with as a Guild, have long gone. Many I still cry about, for both good and bad reasons. Those relationships mattered a great deal, and a number have done me permanent damage. The one time I spoke about this someone appeared and decided to contest everything I knew was truth, then there was no going back.
I’ve forgotten how to make friends with strangers, seem to have lost the ability to be tolerant of those with more disposable income and less inhibitions. A lot of this, undoubtedly, is wrapped around the mental issues that I’m now dealing with. Yesterday’s revelation that someone can be happy to chat when it suits them and then not give a fuck when it appears you’re not listening is a timely reminder that it is probably a good idea to concentrate on things that matter.
This is the moment to move on.
The people who care and who are genuinely kind will always be there. They still are, and continue to be so. They don’t care about what games I play, or whether I follow the ‘right’ people or not. These are the friendships that need more nurture and care. The rest is, and always has been, not worth getting upset about. Learning how to separate wheat from chaff is a fundamental Internet skill that requires further effort. Most people aren’t even listening, until they get into trouble and need your help.
Oh, if that only worked both ways.