Do I Love You?

The plans for decorating my daughter’s room starting on Monday got tossed when she got sick, and now she’s better there’s a chance of getting paint and stuff before the weekend. However, this means that my plans for NEXT week are now completely arse about face, and that there needs to be a digit extracted today so I can be in some kind of position to get everything done within the time budget.

I’m also regretting last night’s Blaze change, but it will pass.

I’ve cracked doing stuff for longer. That’s the key in all of this, to be able to keep going and not get tired. Stamina. I’ll grant you this morning my body is feeling the effect of last night, but it isn’t nearly as bad as it was last week, or indeed the week before. Like writing, if you practice enough, it becomes habit. Habit allows relaxation into the material, understanding both body and mind. It is all part of a larger, more complex process.

Also, it’s kindof cool to be able to do all this stuff now and look like I know what I’m doing. A lot of life is acting, of course, but when the strength exists within you, that’s a task that is progressively easier too. Having actual numbers to back up your words and deeds is hugely useful, and it’s why the lack of communication and feedback in publishing has become so fucking frustrating. I‘ll write about that in a minute.


In the meantime, the bar’s there to be cleared.

I just gotta do it.

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