Jilted John

From presidents to paupers, there are points in existence where things don’t go your way. Those of us who don’t have the ability to make people do what is required to maintain sanity, however questionable in legality that might be, are forced to deal with consequences. This can be a particularly tough ask. Who am I kidding, it’s incredibly stressful and difficult. Being asked to act completely contrary to character because circumstances dictate might well appear selfless, sure, but the potential for destruction is strong.

It has been a tough week for lots of people, as uncertain future beckons for many.

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What can you do to help other people? Well, the number one thing NOT to do is to make their trauma all about you, which is what a number of Social media commentators have managed to demonstrate very successfully across the week. Sensibly a lot of people haven’t done Twitter at all, and all power to them for sensibly getting on with the task in hand of healing themselves before trying to take on the World. Learning when to walk away from contentious situations is half the battle to beating them.

What has happened this week is an awful lot of other people stepping back from themselves, to reassess what they do and how it happens. This is, all told, a really good way to help other people too, because there’s the space and ability to ensure your responses and support is the right kind of words and deeds and not fuelled by ideas or concepts that don’t fit the particular situation. For those of us who are very emotional however, this is the worst time of all.

lolbrahmemechose

You want to go and help, but know if you do that emotional instability is far more likely to make things worse, so you are forced to sit on the sidelines and bottle everything up until it becomes possible for you to not react in a manner that is hugely counter-productive for everybody. This is where meditation, mindfulness and objectivity come into their own, and why sometimes someone like me just won’t take part in your discussions. If you’re hoping I do and it doesn’t happen, you’re not being ignored.

This is knowing you’re no use as help when you can’t help yourself first.

everythingisonfire

It’s why I’m eternally grateful to people like @SwearTrek for giving me the means to express incredibly complex forms of upset and anger in simple, colourful animated pictures, because the rest of my life does not have such simple means to do so. It’s become the ability by which sanity can be maintained when everything around me is in tatters. Being unable to express yourself is incredibly frustrating. Knowing what the problem is and being unable to solve it is even more soul destroying.

These are grown up problems, and have been left unsolved for far too long.