A twelve week block of therapy begins next Tuesday. This is the only time I’ll talk about this publicly until it’s over. Then, I may not talk at all, but rest assured I’m making lots of notes. This is summat that doesn’t get shared with the room.
That, in itself, is no bad thing.
I fixed this. Last night, I found cash for two new pairs of trousers. The assumption is that the cut and fit of the pair currently being worn is consistent, or else they’ll be going straight back. What ought to happen really is me, going to some kind of shopping complex and trying on stuff, which is now being scheduled into next week. Going out, on my own, remains problematic, which is why I’ve booked a two day Writing event in Leeds for July. I dipped into savings for it. I have three months to get my shit in order.
It might be less than that. We’ll see, soon enough.
I have a new exercise to do at home. It is a push-up, but with a twist. You don’t just go up and down: down is VERY slow (count to three, see if I can get breasts to touch the floor) and up is fast. Fuck me. I am dead from neck to waist this morning. If you ever want to kick-start upper body fitness and do not know where to start, the press-up is where it’s at. No equipment needed, just a chair to start with, then the floor and your body.
A lot of people seem to think that starting stuff like this is impossible, but it really isn’t. In fact, if you’re gonna start small, this is the way. There’s a folk tale around a farmer who, to build upper body strength, would lift a newborn calf every day after delivering the animal himself. Every day, the calf would gain a little weight and therefore, the lift would get harder. The concept in most exercise remains repetition, belief and progress.
Of course, your health situation will vary, and you should ALWAYS talk to a doctor before you throw yourself into a new way of exercising. I thought my upper body strength was pretty good but nope, I’m nowhere near as tough as it first appeared. It’s the constant wake-up call my Trainer loves to spring, and she is amazingly good at it. So, when I’m done here, after a cuppa, it’ll be 10 of these Nuclear Press Ups. Preferably I’d do two lots of five, but we’ll see where we are after the first lot.
It is an odd place to exist right now, in the cracks between huge news stories and cataclysmic change. There are days when there is no real coherence of anything, and then others when the World makes so much more sense than was previously ever the case. Reality, of course, is not where I stand: it’s somewhere just out of my eye-line, behind the normal field of vision.
That’s probably the biggest revelation of all, right now. I don’t exist in reality, simply a version based on my own peculiar observation and interaction. Normal becomes the ultimate subjective insult, different the badge everybody is desperate to wear, if only to make themselves feel more relevant in a rising tide of disaster. The key, of course, is to own your own existence regardless. That’s where I’ve been going wrong for a long, long time.
Dun worry, we’re fixing that as I type.