I react quite strongly to external stimulus: changes in light, heat and sound have always been problematic. Last night, I got all three at once, around 4am, and the experience was, on reflection, enlightening. There were also dreams which, for the first time in several months, cannot be remembered, however hard I try. There’s gonna be a lot of this in the next few months, undoubtedly. At least it’s not a surprise.
I wonder how all this works moving forward.
I did not sign up for this emotional roller-coaster, but undoubtedly the consequences of a massive dislocation of previously well-stacked and organised memories will be… well, shonky for a bit. Trying to keep everything level and organised is not yet a totally thankless task, however, and blowing my ‘cycle every day in April’ plan by being sparko at 10pm is not going to hurt anybody.
In fact, my trainer’s assertion that a bit more rest is required is probably spot on. Mixing it up a bit is in the cards, a spontaneous submission walked to the mailbox before 9am. I miss having to send mail for things, or indeed getting letters that are anything other than bank statements or circulars. There should be a movement to reintroduce long-form writing as a means by which you initially get to know people who were previously strangers.
I’m gonna go out later, exercise as normal tonight, start again tomorrow. Nothing really has changed, except deep down I know what everything has. There is homework to do, too. I need to work out what all of this is going to achieve, and write it down to take with me next week.
That’s gonna be a tough ask.