Things that make You go Hmmmmmm

Things I Have Learnt since Tuesday:

I may have more specific anxiety triggers than first though: it is not necessarily situations. Places and people are triggers. Requires more exploration. Needless to say, something that should have been fun yesterday absolutely wasn’t, for a time.

Hunger is a big deal: I’m still not eating properly; not the right things or at the correct time. That means, once all this is done, I’m going shopping and trying to redefine my operating parameters. Needs a plan.

Anger is an Energy: Last night’s Blaze warm-up was painful. My legs did not want to know. Then, I got angry: at myself, mostly. I’ve done directing anger at other people, it is an utter waste of time. Adrenaline gave me my best Blaze showing since this started.


The takeaway from this is important:

  • Four minutes of blue: heart-rate staying green or above for the majority of the class. I modified class slightly because of what I was asked to do. One completely new move almost flummoxed me, but I persisted.
  • Running remains the red zone guarantee: If there’s the chance of simple exercises in other zones, I might be able to get to hold yellow in Combat or Strength now. The key, absolutely, is finding adrenaline, and that’s problematic (see below)
  • Fuelling needs work: as mentioned above, gotta work on what produces a good pre-workout reaction. In this case, that was a sushi afternoon tea. It was much needed and tasted totally heavenly. Notes will be taken.


The biggest takeaway from last night is the process that gets me motivated to work harder. Without going into massive, personal details, anger is the key. How it manifests, using it positively, and the benefits of channelling emotions into personal growth. The sublimation of anxiety into better, more productive avenues is a good place to start. Understanding the triggers and keeping them to a minimum is also a learning process.

I think I’m up to the task.

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