Why am I doing this? was the question asked this morning, as my mind became obsessed with something else, deflecting me away from an incredibly important, other task. To be honest it’s still whirring right now, trying to grasp why these things matter to people as much as they undoubtedly do. Then comes the counter: you’re not other people. Let them have their moments of revelation. Allow them the opportunity to rant and rave, because that’s how respect is supposed to work.
Just smile and move on, because they’re not listening.
Following on from yesterday’s observations on serial moaners, an important distinction can be made between the followers and non-followers in my feed. When I’m the one listening in on a ‘famous’ person’s conversation, the tolerance for moaning changes: you allow them a measure of flexibility, until a point is reached where the amount of unhappy stuff outweighs positive content. Then, off you go.
On the counter, if your reciprocal follow is just moaning non stop, and you’ve made a point that this is something that bothers you, there’s probably a reason to be a bit miffed. More significantly, when your comments are ignored… well, that seems to indicate that person really isn’t listening. Then you’re faced with a choice: mute, unfollow or block. Just how nuclear would you like to go with your displeasure?
More and more, it must be said, I really don’t care.
What’s most disappointing, at least from where I sit, are those people who act like this but spend their entire time stating how public spirited they are, how they care about stuff and what people think. Except clearly, absolutely, they don’t. It is the modern disease of attacking everything that’s bad and wrong with humanity right now yet failing to grasp that starts with you first.
As life is literally too short for this shit, principle and politeness somehow get lost and forgotten in the melee of living in the moment. It’s entirely understandable, on reflection. What matters now will be different tomorrow. You’ll have forgotten what it was that so irked you, or it will have been replaced by something far more important. Except, in all of this, a vital sense of perspective is eroded away, and that’s sad.
I’ve come to use this blog as the means by which some sense can be made of the random interactions in my life. In pretty much every case, communication is at fault. When you ask a question but don’t get the answer you wanted, what was the point in doing so to begin with? Are you prepared to listen to the same complaints, time and again, assuming that you can’t be the one at fault? At what point does hearing truth change your perception of a situation?
How many of us say we’re listening, when that’s a lie to begin with…?