I think it would have been at about 2pm yesterday that something fundamentally altered in my head. Playing my new game of choice, I was trying to get back to the point where I expired, having dropped all my cash when doing so. Then I realised something fundamental: you don’t need to stay here. Go make another world, start from scratch, you can just begin somewhere else. You are in control.
Once upon a time, there was no patience when I failed at learning new game mechanics, would just give up and stop playing. Warcraft taught me persistance, showed rewards for doing so, but then it became destructive. I realise now I made a job out of that need to keep playing, which eventually wasn’t enough. There had to be a separation of action and consequence.
There’s a June 1st deadline for a novel writing prize that’s been causing some stress: should I enter or not? Yesterday, whilst playing, my brain confirmed that yes, I should, but not until I have something that is actually finished, which nothing really is. I’ve got to the end of three stories, but editing is woeful, and that’s what has to be worked on. You don’t have to do everything now. What is more important is a focus on ability.
A narrative has been picked to work on, which is happening, but the poetry project is more important. Being distracted from what matters most is probably my biggest single problem when it comes to completing work to deadlines, and if the plan is to work on one issue at a time, then this is the one that deserves the most attention. Therefore, we will be changing the habits of a lifetime and making this happen.
Needless to say, gaming has helped me unknot brain in ways I didn’t think was possible.