Make it Shine

AM Run has become PM run, otherwise, we’re still on target.

Science has always been cool, and is as a result pretty tough to fool. Numbers can be depressing and stressful when they don’t say what you want. However, when used as tools for motivation in the right way, they are beyond useful. The key number up there isn’t the heart rate or the calories burnt, it’s percentage effort. Look, here’s how hard you’re working in real, uncompromising terms. I know you felt flat out in that workout, but it was lower than what you’re actually capable of.

You can ignore the science if you want, but it never goes away.

Psychology is ‘the scientific study of the mind and how it dictates and influences our behaviour, from communication and memory to thought and emotion.’ Thanks to twelve weeks of sitting in a small room, there is now an understanding of how my brain has affected every single decision made in my life, and that an issue at the very start of existence effectively warped an awful lot of subsequent thought processes.

Once you can see a mistake, it becomes quite hard to unsee. 

My issues with dieting and body image could fill a completely separate blog, several novels and probably an entire YouTube Channel. Understanding why that was the case has taken a little longer to fathom, but now I’m comfortable with truth. I eat when I’m hungry, work out hard and slowly, brilliantly, body is changing. I can see the difference, feel it with each workout. Strength comes from belief and dedication to my task.

Going forward therefore, everything else changes too.

Many people find it hard to accept difference. It’s abundantly apparent in the modern world: if you don’t look like me and think like me, you are frightening. If I don’t understand you, that makes you an enemy. Watching people grapple with differences over gender, ability, mindsets and attitude more and more become the things that define us as human beings. Being able to embrace diversity should always be the norm.

Except, of course, that’s simply not true. Everybody has their own horror stories. I am, I realise, responsible for perpetrating a few of my own. Going forward therefore, wiping the slate clean seems like a really sensible idea… except, of course, it never really does become totally clean. There are always the impressions of previous words there, especially if you pressed too hard when writing. Beginning afresh remains a hard ask.

Life is a process of learning and understanding. Sometimes, in order to make progress forward, it is important to take steps back and reconsider how things are done.

If you want me, I’ll be over here reconsidering how a lot of my life now works.