Dead in the Water

That’s Donation #8 in the bag :D Doing it earlier in the day is not the way forward however: I managed to lock my keys in the house, felt a bit wonky immediately afterwards and am not quite sure that walking home was a good idea. However, I ate really well in prep for yesterday and this morning… well, let’s go back to last night first, because something new happened.

Once upon a time what happened last night would have put me back MONTHS. Today, once I’ve written this we’ll have a good couple of hours rebuilding a collection that was, by my own benchmarks, pretty ropey in parts. It’s also a testament to how far I have come as a poet in the last 12 months: the initial choice of submission may yet get done, we will see, but for now this is enough.

The title might be my greatest moment thus far.

Then there’s a short story that I hope to be able to first draft by the end of next week. It should have happened last week but there is, sometimes, no way of making creativity do the stuff you want to deadlines. I do at least have the idea sound and plotted, and as we’re working to a fairly tight word count, that does mean the writing itself won’t take forever. After THAT? I am giving serious consideration to taking March off.

If I say I’m going to do nothing, this is normally when the most productivity takes place: why, when I go away this weekend, the laptop comes with me cause then, if inspiration strikes, it’s time to just type and not care. The balance between needing to do stuff to deadline and just writing what you want is tough to reconcile when you have a brain like mine. To function correctly, there has to be some imposition of order.

However, what can then happen is that the pressure of the deadline makes everything else become far less attractive to complete. It is an odd situation to find myself in, and normally when it happens that’s all productivity summarily scuppered. Not this time, however, and that is allowing me to feel… well, surprisingly unfettered going forward. Whether it will be the commercial breakthrough I need is now largely irrelevant.

Whatever happens, my collection will be published this year.

colbert_numbers

I have no qualms about self-publishing. I can send the work then directly to real publishers as a visual CV, and anyone who bags a copy has the chance to own something that might one day hold some actual value. It’s a win/win with the only disadvantage being dipping into savings to make it happen. However, as a long-term investment, I feel it is worth doing. I may even Kickstarter the project as a result.

This is a step into the light that has been a very long time coming indeed.

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