I’ve never been tremendously good at relationships, even though I’ve survived in one for over three decades. The reason why that one has lasted for as long as it has, inevitably, is down to the nature of the two people involved. All other relationships are measured by this yardstick, and undoubtedly that means that sometimes, even if I may not like it, some stuff really doesn’t need to be said at all.
This also extends to online relationships: get to know someone well enough virtually and there will be the days you know all they want to do is complain about X or have a sly dig at Y who is doing better in Game W than they are. It’s the measure of how much you pay attention as to how you react: some days, it’s just easier to let them roll on. However, more and more for me, I’m reaching for the mute button.
As I rant, I’m also seeing people leave, which is of course the same reaction.
The means by which we all deal with the current situation is different, and as has been discussed here at length, some of the people that used to follow me weren’t interested in using Social media for anything else except their own peculiar buffer zone from reality. I am reminded of this daily right now because Instagram’s decided I should be following one of these people through their app. Not fucking likely.
In fact, I’ve just tried to work out whether it is possible to stop getting my phone to keep suggesting this person. I bloody hate platforms that have no real idea of the individual that uses them, and assumes that a badly designed algorithm is the only right way to match anything with anything else. It is, however, part of a world I know others willingly inhabit for both entertainment and companionship.
I don’t have to understand everything in the world, it’s okay.
This is my own scheduled reminder that anger is an energy and to find constructive means by which it can be utilised is useful for everybody’s benefit, not just mine. Not allowing the negativity to swamp everything will make for more constructive workdays, better productivity overall and honestly, in the long term is by far the most sensible way of coping in these ‘extraordinary’ times.
The game of keeping quiet still gets played, however: sometimes, you need to give people space to rant, because as I know from experience that’s often the best way to let the bad stuff go whilst simultaneously being reminded you are not alone. Right now, that’s a REALLY useful thing to keep repeating, over and over. We are all in this together.
Nobody comes out of this quite the same way as we came in.