dark tree

The funny thing about this, undoubtedly was that I wasn’t even trying. I also hadn’t completed the course since the changes to Zwift’s UI that allows me a huge glob of XP when doing so, which was the unexpected bonus of the evening. As the course is still live tonight we’ll see if we can get two circuits in with some space in between, as a guide to how fit I am currently feeling.

I wrote this and then realised that some people will consider it as a trap tweet. You all know what a thirst trap is: this is just the low-rent equivalent of typing ‘GOD nobody ever notices me how depressing is that?’ which you’ll see about 1000 times a day in various forms across Social media. Except, like it or not, this is my reality. The Internet is my world. I live and work here on a daily basis.

If I’m not getting responses, summat is not right. It isn’t enough to just be here any more either, which may (or may not) be a problem going forward. Bits of my existence are very much in flux now, it must be said, and how the next few months work out will undoubtedly have a significant effect on future plannage. However, for now I was acknowledged quite early today, my mind is appeased.

We all have our own comfort zones to inhabit.

It’s interesting for someone who’s struggling with the concept of Outside right now, to sometimes process the reality of their own situation before this happened, and what will now take place after all of this has become rationalised. Looking back on what I expected to happen from this position, where reality is an awfully long way away from the truth of those early days… I never liked crowds to begin with.

Maybe this is the moment that phobia finally gets dealt with, once and for all. Perhaps this is the opportunity to create some decent, long-lasting good choices and redefine my habits going forward. Facemasks have been ordered and washed. I’m ready to do outside when the time comes, and the issues that would previously have been a problem won’t be if I have gloves to take with me. I really don’t care what other people think either.

Learning to be comfortable is something I’ll do at my own pace.