Apologies for lateness, but I’m currently editing the most important thing (thus far) I have ever made. It’s odd, how you constantly end up moving goalposts for yourself like this… or not, if you’re the kind of person who sees life as an ever more complex set of scenarios which require an improvement in ability during each forward motion. I don’t mind challenges any more, I suspect because each time I get on a bike it’s a bit further forward down a road I’m never leaving.
Like it or not, this is the path I keep on riding.
Amazingly, I’m getting less stressed with failure as a result of this daily push to break personal bests and move momentum forward. The curve upwards is, undoubtedly, a bit lumpy but that’s true for everything I do right now. As long as forward remains the direction, everything else is fixable. People have been incredibly kind about the stuff that’s been late too, and with my last piece of outstanding work being finished tonight, I will briefly be up to date.
It won’t last long because next week the entire thing starts up again, but this time I’m better placed to organise what’s happening, what needs to be where and how it all gets delivered on time. It is a difficult ask sometimes to be that person, but undoubtedly the more you practice, the easier it becomes. For me at least, having those marks in the ground, on an app, in my head allows everything to find a decent level.
Like I said at the top, today’s work has added personal resonance. Whether it will be received well, be any good or enjoyed are all, I grasp now, largely irrelevant. I needed to make it, and when its done, it becomes the line in the ground on which everything else is judged by. Being able to self-motivate is still one of the hardest tasks I ever have to manage, but when it happens well, the results are spectacular.
I wonder, where will this new direction drag me?