Heartbeat

Consent is probably the biggest single issue in your life, controlling pretty much everything that happens around you. Allowing people into your personal space, now than ever before, could be fatal. Except, where I stand right now, that consent is a thing men ignore. I can grasp Scott’s experience, but the more this tweet is liked, the more uncomfortable it makes me.

I feel the need to explain why.

It’s clear that being in a situation where men are intimidated by women is not right. NOBODY should feel their own personal boundaries compromised like this. The fact remains however that the vast majority of cases of sexual assault go the other way, and it is men who are the offenders. It’s the whole White Lives Matter/All Lives Matter concept, only with sexual assault: this discussion needs to be about people who require help.

Making spaces on the Internet safe for people to do so is vitally important, and it must happen. Trying to sympathise, looking supportive via understanding is laudable, but it isn’t actually that helpful. To watch this tweet be picked up and liked, time and again, is almost a confirmation that the vast majority of us just accept this shit happens. It is normalising that behaviour, and that’s absolutely wrong.

What matters more is supporting those who have been taken advantage of.

I’ll be sending Scott a DM after I’ve written this, alerting him to my concerns. There’s other guys in the same thread, talking about being upskirted in kilts, and the same applies to them. I appreciate your concerns, but this is not helpful right now. Sexual consent needs to be redefined for everybody. Porn needs to be a thing that far less people openly indulge in.

If any of these events led to you being sexually assaulted, then it’s different. Otherwise, they are experiences that are not relevant in this discussion, in fact they make women look like the predators. If that’s true, and you have a negative sexual experience where you felt sex took place without your consent, then it’s relevant. Otherwise, it’s not up for discussion.

Consent is everybody’s responsibility, and it starts with you.