Odd day, today. I’d had a load of stuff nebulously planned and then it all went wrong midway on Thursday. Typing this is taking a level of concentration I don’t actually possess: it’s because last night’s sleep wasn’t, it was a night of being held to account by my demons. Yesterday was just horrendous. It won’t have looked like it, because I now do a fairly decent job of hiding the terror, but to say what I felt and needed to was draining.
Today, again, I write all of this down to remember the mess my head is in.
Time to bring this graphic back. For most of Lockdown we’ve not moved past Stage Two, lets be honest. The disconnect has been horrendous. Yesterday, for about an hour, I could touch the top of the pyramid. It’s been some time since Esteem was a constant, and even if I am mentally wiped by the effort, it’s there. I realise, as a result, just how lucky I am.
There will be a lot of people existing right now in the bottom two strata of this diagram. Many of them will be really grateful to be able to go to a pub or a restaurant today. Many more will be overjoyed to have a sense of connection after months of isolation. This is the psychological toll that Lockdown will have placed on all of us, but in vastly differing way.
This is the mental health emergency that nobody factored for going in.
There are so many red flags online right now it is pretty impossible to know where to start in an attempt to make a difference. Not contributing to the problem will be a start. Metering interactivity is also going to happen. I’m already off Instagram, limiting access, doing other stuff. I have to hope that taking a break from pretty much everything else will help brain to finally unwind a bit.
This is gonna be a tough next few weeks.