Destiny

There are many things that need fixing in my life. For a change, none of them are disastrous. We’ve done the whole ‘eat well’ epiphany this time last year, I get how that works now very well indeed, which is why I’m eating an apple and not a chocolate biscuit right now. Sometimes, choice is the problem. However, it’s not today’s problem.

I have begun to understand that making your own luck is a thing, where luck is defined as making sure you are in the right place, at the right time, and can be seen to be engaging in behaviour that suggests you are interesting. It is not hard at present to know where these things are taking place. The trick now is to capitalise, without making it look needy.

Those who believe that you are somehow destined to be a certain thing are, inevitably, aware of an ability to keep focus and impetus placed in a certain direction. Working hard, every day, at the same thing, will result over time in limited success. If all you care about is the world knowing your name… well, that might need a few more hours.

Then it’s all about how much you want the thing you’re aiming for.

What is becoming increasingly apparent, at least from this chair, is the difference between deciding the Universe is somehow overseeing all of this and that maybe, possibly, you have more influence than first appears the case. Neither fate nor destiny will cure me of the tyranny of choice, that’s for damn sure. If there is ever going to be progress within exercise to a standard I am happy with, then there have to be sacrifices.

The same, undoubtedly, is true with writing. However much ‘luck’ other people may claim there is, it can all be easily negated by bypassing the need to be validated by other people. Rewards are great, don’t get me wrong, but personal satisfaction beats all of that hands down. Yesterday’s 10% increase in fitness, confirmed by my own hard work, is a reward I am insanely proud of.

That wasn’t luck that got me that far. It isn’t destiny that I was supposed to make it here, it was fucking hard work and no compromise. Standing and hoping for a sign that I’m going in the right direction from someone else is great and everything, but if I pin my hopes on that as my only means of gauging progress… well, that’s bollocks, there needs to be a better way.

The question now is what that is and where to find it.

When I work it out, you’ll know.

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