Three whole days. Been a while, blog. If ever there were conclusive proof that things have changed, then it’s the last three days. I have begun to trust my gut again, after a long period of complete inability to judge what I have seen around me, and how conversations pan out. Right now, there is at least 90% confidence when I see someone who clearly is making an effort to remain interested, it isn’t just my imagination.
There have had to be some big decisions this week too, and all of them have happened with quiet confidence. There is this continuous beat, nobody will do this but you, and that is the gift that keeps on giving, often in unexpected ways. After the weekend I am reasonably certain it will be time to start looking for new places to hang out and some different people to help me through the next part of proceedings.
It is apparent that I have yet to arrive at a permanent destination.
Maybe it is my lot in life to keep moving, because what is being searched for is constantly changing. It has occurred, at least over the last three months, that travel is really missed. It would be great to get away to somewhere, anywhere, just for a few days, because it is the routine that ends up sucking creativity from my soul. So, for the next few months, it is time to travel within myself.
There will be more Estuary time, more video work, a proper flexing of creative muscles, NaNo preparation (and quite possibly some writing) a second anthology sent for reading to a select group and, undoubtedly, exercise. I went back to Blaze yesterday and, after two minutes in the red, realised that the ability to work hard was being held back by what I was being asked to do. Once I stopped doing as I was told? Easy game.
I just wish some days I was less naive, and far faster on the uptake.