Breaking Glass

Most years, before my birthday, I sit and work out whether I feel anything has been achieved. This year it’s an odd satisfaction within me as I sit here, typing the phrase ‘yeah, you know what, this is getting somewhere.’ The potential for everything to change in a heartbeat has never been so obvious, permanently sitting behind an eyeline well aware of what is playing out in plain sight.

A lot of this really is ridiculously unfair. People dying who shouldn’t be, could be saved, must be remembered. The good, oppressed and marginalised by those who think freedom is their privilege when it is everybody’s right. Somewhere in between is everybody else, doing their best, struggling to make it all work. Some people are failing, others succeed, and all of this, like it or not, is as it has always been.

Except, in all of this, there are the beginnings of revolution.

I feel quite flabby right now, both literally and metaphorically. Lots of bits of my body are changing, places that have been fat spots for literally decades. There’re areas of working practice that also need work, and those will be addressed starting today. Eventually, everything does find a level, and with enough thought and consideration, you can untangle even the most difficult issues.

It is time to move on from introversion, which for a while this year nearly derailed me completely. Lockdown has taught me many things, the main one being that nobody is listening, most of the time. The trick is to just keep talking and eventually, stuff sticks. Being aggrieved that people aren’t, or they don’t thank you, or all this other shit is unnecessary energy expended. Just keep on, keeping on, going forward, doing the Thing.

In time, it all works out just fine.

The people who really care still do, are here to support and are, willing to help propel forward plans that are less belief and more confidence with every passing day. Knowing that this is a righteous path also helps, but never should that feeling prevent you from being the better person. Everybody has something to teach you, especially those who think they have nothing left to learn.

There is a storm coming, and many people will not weather it well.