Okay, do what the Tweet says.
Blew my streak yesterday. I’ll get over it.
Dealing with trauma and nerves pre-Kendal however? Not *quite* so simple…
Something magical happened at the Gym this morning. For the first time, I saw the person I want to be staring back at me from mirrors that, for a long time, have been massively intimidating.
My ankle is still painful, but I jogged on it for nearly 10 minutes without issue, which tells me that this is the right path for rehab. Next time I will watch for holes and not be so dumb.
Today is a Good Day.
Still drawing, still healing, and most definitely moving forward.
Yesterday, in the middle of a Poetry Writing session, my brain rubber-banded back to the moment when I almost drowned during a swimming lesson as a kid. I’ve never learnt to swim as a result, and honestly don’t feel particularly safe in the water, ever. It’s something that will, in time, be dealt with, but not right now. That’s full of other demons that need attacking, and a foot that’s slowly beginning to heal.
I can’t help what I am, and today it seemed the best idea to embrace the disparity, rather than fight it. For large portions of today, I’ve experienced time in vastly different ways. It’s the indicator that this is the right direction. Things are changing.
It is all to the good.
It occurred to me yesterday, in the midst of exercise at the Gym, that my life is beginning to make more sense. Personally, despite the occasional falling down into holes and literally injuring myself that takes place, everything is working out very well. It allows me an opportunity to turn focus onto the professional portion of my existence, and how that will now be developed in the weeks and months that follow.
Next week, at 5pm each day, a poem I’ve written will be released into the world via YouTube. No, they’re not particularly groundbreaking or life-changing, but they represent a significant step forward in my ability to grow and develop as an artist. They are an indicator of what is possible with the limited resources I have available. Crucially, they were made entirely by me and me alone, no support or mentoring was used.
In that regard, their significance should not be understated.
There was a dry run, of course, which taught me a lot, but the literal interpretation of the five poems you’ll get starting on Monday has been the greater revelation. As a result, plans for July’s sequence are already shifting and changing: I’d assumed things would be a certain way, but having visited Ulverston last weekend and had my perceptions altered by the experience, it is time to move my lens away from the details of nature.
There are more important things I want to spend my time looking and talking about. However, as a first exercise, Estuary has exceeded all my expectations.
See you here on Monday for the first poem…
Where has the week gone? I know the answer to this, it is all in planning and recovery from this ankle injury. We are getting there, slowly but surely. It would be helpful, if in future, the attempts at self sabotage could be kept to a minimum.
A lot is in the pipeline for next week. Keep your eyes peeled.
The first proper project I’ve undertaken for myself alone is DONE, or at least it will be once the subtitling is fixed tomorrow. I have two more projects ready to roll starting Friday, though the chances are I will start early on them both. Most importantly today, something I said was fixed a couple of months ago and wasn’t will finally be done. There is no time left to pretend stuff is working. It all needs to be done.
Also, it doesn’t matter if only a handful of people look at my work. I made progress.
I could do an update, but honestly, you don’t want to see it. I’m not proud of myself, either. Next time, LOOK WHERE YOU ARE WALKING, DOOFUS.
Today I’ve been mentioned on Radio 4 by a poetry hero, and been rejected twice. Frankly, the latter can do one. The former is FAR more fun. I also finished a poem about me having wings.
It’s being submitted to a Journal before I go to bed.
Today was the first time I’d ever had a Greggs.
It was also the first time that what mattered more than the problem was the solution.
This is a VERY important day indeed.