Grace

Writing poems in the morning’s not going badly of late.

In My Head

Real life events have hit me hard this week. There’s been conversations about both ends of Motherhood. My exercise routine has pretty much turned on its head. There’s a new poetry course started too which is already presenting some interesting possibilities to brain and progression. It’s good when you can say you’ve done your best work in a period when everything is both simultaneously brilliant and terrifying.

The next month, yet again, has the potential to alter everything I am.

I am so fucking ready.

Fast As You Can

Today has had a lot happen in it. By far the most important part of that is that instead of being distracted by social media, other things have taken place. Instead of being dragged into things I cannot change or alter, I used time to write poetry instead.

Five poems have been sketched to first draft in time that previously did not exist. I would have been mindlessly browsing or being sucked into arguments that, at this moment, do not require my input. Instead, from the tyranny of always being present, I have produced something that makes me happy.

Not all problems are as easily solved, and this is why this time is doubly important. The time I have reclaimed has been used wisely today. Tomorrow may be different. However what is increasingly apparent is that these are problems I can solve alone. This is the key for my next step of professional progress.

You can always be more than you believe is possible.

Hit Me Baby One More Time

Today has been full on, and I’m not done yet. As I type this, I’m waiting in a Zoom space for an Open Mic/Poetry Reading to start. I have a lot to think about as well. There is so much going on, most of which is really difficult to explain, but that’s not necessarily the problem it previously was. I had my first Proper Boxing lesson today and honestly, it’s obvious that this is a bit of a game changer. Now all that needs to happen is my brain to percolate on the consequences…

Last Train to Trancentral

Last few days have been a bit of a rollercoaster. I’ve stopped watching the TV show responsible for filling my brain to capacity, and there will be more on Severance as the week goes on. For now, I’m almost back up to date, have a new project on the go and am ready to go start kicking the arse of a training programme that needs to get me ready to do a 30-mile bike ride and a 10 km run within a week of each other. We’ll get there. For now, however, it’s time to concentrate on adjusting to a bit more hard work everywhere…

Paranoid Android

Well, that was a fucking ride.

I’ll be back to normal eventually. For now, there’s a LOT to think about…

Ghost Town

Quite pleased about this, for a lot of reasons, most of which have to do with output and potential future use. It’s been a bit of a stressful day for other reasons, that were resolved in a better way than has previously been the case. So, it all balances out. I’ve also managed to complete a particularly tricky set of poems for submission. There are potentially two places they can go. Still not sure on one, absolutely set on the other, which makes the task considerably easier.

Tomorrow, I can talk about the TV show I’ve been watching too…

Big Time

The plan has always been to diversify. That means going to sub sites that I might not normally consider. Tomorrow, the first of those is going live. I take this as a distinct sign of progress. I’m also going to do a reasonably unprecedented thing and skip Paragraph 2 and 3 tonight, instead you get a Tweet that began as me giving love to the poets I enjoy and which appears to have had the desired effect. Gotta love it when good things happen to the right people.

Tears of a Clown

It’s never easy to be honest with yourself, it’s why so many people spend their entire lives refusing to do so. You know someone like this. Maybe today is the day when you go and start a conversation with them and maybe help them talk about what’s bothering them. It doesn’t have to be Mental Health Awareness Week to instigate a change. Any day will do. Except, on this particular Wednesday, why not try summat different. Start a conversation, and maybe potentially change a life.

Downtown Lights

Tomorrow, I read a poem in a Book Launch for the first time. It’s not just me, there’s nearly 30 other people involved in this, and my single poem is, as are all the others, about being neurodivergent. I’m still no further forward with a diagnosis with my Doctor, and it has been almost a year now. However, when I realize it took my daughter three years to get even seen for NHS treatment on waiting lists pre-COVID? I’m not sure when you start complaining, if indeed you can at all.

Anyway, it’s a busy week, and I am slowly beginning to readjust to a new way of working. The physical changes to a body that’s now accepting both intermittent fasting and more exercise, that there’s strength in places where it never really existed and that I feel more physically confident than I have for some time are all good, positive steps. Other things are still lamentably awful, though. You can’t have everything. The trick really is not to moan about it all too much, or you become stereotypically British.

I booked myself an open mic on Thursday with some new people in Coventry. It’s always good to see how other people do it. It’s not long now to June and having to do it in an actual physical space with real people, and that’s already looking a bit scary. We’ll cope, because we have to, as that’s the next logical iteration of the project. It is a project too. Some people might not like what I do, but that’s never my problem, and always their loss. Let’s keep moving forward.