Respect

Truth, let’s be honest, is often very hard to come by in the modern world. If I believe the Government over half the things they tell me, I’d be doubting myself on an almost daily basis. Being told that we have to live with Covid is, however, probably a realistic take on the next ten years of life, until at least the point when there’s a new SuperBug to contend with… by which time, one can only hope, we’ll have got our fucking act together.

Justifiably, however, a lot of people don’t want to hear this, especially those who don’t have a double vaccination. We don’t need people being gaslit either, and yet it is happening with increasing frequency. I’m really not sure how it got to the point where safety was superseded by commercialism either, but it shouldn’t surprise anybody that is where we now exist. In the months that follow, a lot of stuff is going to disintegrate for good. We don’t have a ‘Normal’ to go back to any more. That’s the problem.

There is less time to blog at present, mostly because my free time has become so precious. However, starting today there will be a proper effort to do Mondays and Fridays, if only to be able to remind myself how badly the World is on fire at any given moment. It’s also a great way to distract myself as a bunch of people destroy my home in the name of progress.

Start

It’s a new week! I’ve been out AGAIN! I went actual shopping and everyfink and there’s clothing for the first time in eighteen months. If it is useful for anything, it’s finding bra tops that aren’t actual bras with clasps that a) fit my peculiar body shape and b) are actually comfortable. This bra, I’m wearing now, is both. Welcome to the Future, boobies.

Yes, I KNOW I should have done this yesterday, but other stuff ended up mattering more.

It’s all a delicate balancing act…

Watching the Wheels

Monday, quite honestly, about a THOUSAND YEARS AGO.

This week has been everything I said it would be. Stuff is done, more stuff is submitted, and I have a proper plan of action for next week already taking form. There’s extra Patreon work at the weekend (two extra videos for the end of the month) but I am planning to get a LOT done tonight and tomorrow. The lie-in is beginning to look particularly attractive tomorrow morning too. Been a long week of RL stress, on top of everything else. The poetry however has been fucking glorious.

In fact, this is the gift that keeps on giving.

I have a lot to read going forward. I also have a plan about how I do it. Both of these things are connected, and it will be glorious. Then there are plans to play with poetry in other forms. On that front, I need to go look at some stuff on the Internet…

Starlight

It was a Good Weekend (TM) and, as a result, this is scheduled from yesterday, because today I have to go out for the day, which is the first time this has happened effectively since COVID. There were moments before it all went horrible, but they were BM (Before Masks) and as a result do not properly count. I’ll be with my youngest and their friend, though, so it won’t be as stressful as might be the case alone.

There will be pictures too, and that’s not happened for a while.

The rhetoric is not stopping out here, it is probably getting worse as time goes on. That’s the way people think they can be when there’s no effective means for anyone to stop them, except there are changes. High profile libel cases, stupid people thinking they can get away with just deleting the Tweet and that’s enough. It won’t be. It’s also reassuring to see the Conservatives rattled, and the Green Party becoming a likely third force in British politics. Let’s just hope it’s not too late for the planet, eh?

I’ve done three submissions over the weekend, with a fourth ready to go this week. I have two places to send the novel to. Honestly, right now, there is very little else that I can do, except hope that one of these things actually sticks.

Keeping busy stops me from stressing about lots of things.

How Will I Know?

I have worked my arse off this week, but still got rejected yesterday, because I’m not good enough for the people currently being applied to. How do I get better? I have to do more work, and that’s all there is to it. This is not a big deal, except when I’m tired or there’s other real life issues wearing me down. Right now, a lie in tomorrow is the most exciting thing that can possibly happen, followed closely by the takeaway I just ordered.

We’ll get there, just not this week, that’s all.

Run for Home

Whatever happens, this is already a good week.

I’m gonna wear this T shirt for HIIT training tomorrow :D

Still Alive

Yeah, one day we’ll talk about that.

I ran out of space in my Stress Bucket on Wednesday morning. Hang on, what’s a Stress Bucket?

I picked this off t’Interwebs because it’s the best example of what details will play on your bucket’s capacity. It also asks you to identify the areas where stress inhabits or comes from and how that will then ‘fill’ the container, the size of which can also change based on your vulnerability. The plan, always, is never to allow stress to overfull the bucket. If you get to that point, it’s time to step back, and I let the blog go for two scheduled days I had planned because, in the end, writing about being stressed has been identified as an unhelpful response.

A good night’s sleep and some quality de-stressing last night has pulled be back down to where coping skills are managing the stress successfully. This afternoon therefore I’m going to not worry about anything else except doing my best to completely empty the bucket, so when we start again on Monday, I possess the most space possible. That will mean lifting some weights this afternoon, and doing some cycling this evening. After all that? I just have to hope the Universe maybe cuts me a break next week.

I am at least doing all I can.

Down in the Dirt

I should have done this yesterday, but there is a LOT on right now and honestly, this is easier. I thought about time-shifting it back too, but today it’s better to reflect back on yesterday than pretend that this WAS yesterday :D I’ve made some fairly significant weightlifting progress, and the difference between old me and NEW ME (intentional caps) is quite significant. It isn’t just the weight, but it’s how my body reacts to fatigue that is interesting.

I achieved this new weight thanks to a pyramid set yesterday, and at the end fatigued in the way I’m used to when warming up: my lungs literally need time to get comfortable first thing into any exercise. Once I have my heart rate up and running, a lot of stuff becomes quite easy (as demonstrated by the run last week) but it’s that effort to get there which is tough. In the final 12 reps, body told me to stop at six, and there was literal gasping for air.

Once upon a time, after that level of work, I’d stagger home: yesterday the tiredness was apparent in my limbs, but I could still function. Of course, this could be as a result of the second COVID jab too, but honestly I think this is me, getting fitter, and having simultaneously to learn how to deal with the changes that brings… because there is change, and I do need to find the means to accommodate it in a way that is easily digestible to my brain.

Anyway, today is HIIT, as has now become the trend twice a week, and I could not be happier.

Sabotage

This is the only blog I’ll write today: I should have done something on Wednesday but, to be honest, this week has gotten away from me. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been immense, but simultaneously anger-inducing. All this will pass, as is always the case, and we’ll be back on the shit from Monday…

I am still recovering from Wednesday: the blister on my foot is now down to an acceptable level of pain, I have received a largely predictable response from the Doctors with reference to my pursuit of a particular diagnosis, and will be gearing up to attack the problem again, with the correct tools at my disposal. Major life changes begin on Monday. It’s all go here, and the goal remains to thrive, which I am.

Other people will not derail my progress.

Really, we are getting there.

Sunny

It had to be said, I KNOW I’d said I was done, but there are still loose ends being found and tidied up. I’m also largely having to plan on the fly as it’s a Bank Holiday, and training this morning has effectively wiped me out. However, because it is all easier, that’s what’s happened. Plan B is in place. I am ready to readjust. Also, I unexpectedly got a bonus today, and am hugely grateful for it.

I’d like to think the world is changing. Let’s see.