Hold Your Head Up

In the week, I saw several people clearly worried how they would cope with yesterday, today, and all the days after. My strategy for yesterday was simple: wear myself out over a month with a distraction that would mean that when we came down to the wire, I’d be too exhausted to care. It absolutely wasn’t the main reason why RED October January happened, don’t worry. My intentions remain intact, and pure.

The unintended consequence of fundraising meant that yesterday I was in bed by 9pm, and all the stuff on Social media just passed me by. It means I’ll be ignoring news media completely for the weekend too: the government may have left but I never voted for them and they’ve never spoken for me. They belittle my beliefs, dismiss my ideals and ethos. I’m still a European at heart. They don’t get to destroy that, ever.

I have no idea who you people are: yes, I can allow you this celebration, but I will never, EVER truly understand why you feel the need to do so. You are celebrating something I find uncomfortable, as if our sovereignty matters more than climate change, racial harmony and unity on a larger stage. You seem to be celebrating something that, in my mind, no longer exists. I don’t think you get how much trouble the planet is in.

Yet somehow in your eyes this changes everything, when in reality this is still Saturday. Government didn’t make it a national holiday, we weren’t forced to have street parties. You people were lied to by Government and yet still voted them in. You’re losing masses of key freedoms that I really don’t think you grasp came as part of a larger whole. I’m betting most of you really don’t grasp the economic ramifications… and we stop now.

These people don’t seem to care about the same things I do.

I’m used to being in a minority. This is not a problem, I can remain European even if my government refuses that right. I don’t need a second passport. It’s okay. This can happen in my own time, and if it takes the rest of my life to integrate, nobody’s gonna get particularly upset. Other people made this choice, I didn’t. The key to grasping how you work successfully as a minority is picking your moments.

Those who know what I am will understand. Those who challenge me will be told, quietly but firmly, that I believe Brexit is the most catastrophic wrong turn this country has made since World War Two, which we only won with considerable foreign assistance and which wasn’t just our war to begin with. What the planet needs now isn’t independence (sorry Scotland, this is not the moment) but everyone working together.

If that’s not something you’re prepared to get behind, you don’t care about the planet.

You need to adapt to change in your own time. Ignore media, stop using Social media, learn how to curate your feeds. Block, mute, ignore, because this is never going away now, and people will bang on about it until they die. I confidently expect some of these people to decide to skip the afterlife and haunt us for quite some time because telling others ‘I told you so’ is the real British skill that everybody hates yet nobody stops doing.

I’m ashamed of a lot of my country, but that’s been the case since well before 2016. Those feelings have always existed. Now, I get to see arrogance stuck to cars, on pub windows, flaunted in shops that will then be easy to ignore. I watch the people celebrating this ignorance and yes I could congratulate them but no, I don’t feel like doing that. Maybe my outlook will change in a couple of decades, who knows. I’m not a bad loser, though.

I just know how much is at stake if we don’t start looking past nationalism.

Decks Dark

I’m getting to the stage in life where tolerance becomes a tough ask. After yesterday, you could easily throw the ‘Grumpy Old Woman’ epithet at me and it would not take much to stick… and then something seismic happens to a lot of people there’s a great deal of respect and love for. In the situation when disaster strikes, what do you do? Is it easier to rage and rant at clouds, or more sensible to work on empathy?

Once upon a time I’d have been all about the latter. Then, I had kids, and my entire world view fundamentally altered. Was it as a result of two lives made, that I’m responsible for until my last breath, that compassion became more important… couldn’t tell you for certain. I wasn’t born that way, it was never a trait that was obvious. This has been learnt, over time. That in itself is a significant revelation.

Some emotions are more valid than others.


A lot of people have gone down in my estimation during the last 48 hours, far more than I thought would be the case. The reaction to this news has been wide ranging, but it was those who decided to make it all about them that disappointed me the most. I’m also mildly disgusted that many of the periphery content producers and service industries won’t say anything about this in case it damages their relationship with the company.

In fact, it is these companies that frustrate me most of all. Once upon a time, I was one of them: making money as a result of writing about a game which, in the end, has caused me as much pain as pleasure if all is said and done. Taking the decision to leave before being pushed was difficult, but in the end not dreadful. I was able to make an ethical choice so many others simply can’t afford to entertain.

That’s why you’ll not find any posts from me on this looking for personal gain.