Let You be Right

We have made it to Friday, and I do not remember the last time looking forward to waking up at 6am and knowing there is no requirement to get up. Mentally, I am beyond tired, and the editing that should have happened yesterday would be a waste of everybody’s time right now. If I had known so much of my soul was going into that poetry at the start there would have been better provision but HEY you live and learn. That means today is menial labour, setting up scheduling for the weekend so work on the poetry can continue unhindered and a shittonne of music.

I’m unravelling right now. This is no bad thing, nothing to panic over. Instead of thrashing about and winding everything tighter, the moment has come to stop fighting.

We’ll let this go.

Selfish

There is a reckoning coming in real life, that can no longer be avoided. The result of which is, like it or not, I have to change. There’s been a lot of thought about it, and on reflection it is exactly what needs to happen to allow everything else to progress. You’ll not hear anything else about this either, it is being recorded here as reminder to self that if you want real, lasting alteration of the circumstances around you? You’re the catalyst.

One day, all of this will be written about, dissected and then undoubtedly used as fuel for more poems and prose. For now, it is a real effort to sit on my hands and say nothing, because finally, after about three decades, I learnt the lesson. However much someone pushes buttons or attempts to manipulate you into the response they want? Not going to happen. Only by dispensing with the toxic and focusing on kindness will you illicit discussion. I’ve had enough of reverse psychology.

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This will come as a disappointment to many people on Social media hoping to get a rise out of me on a contentious issue, but it’s fine, there’ll be someone along in a minute to serve the dopamine hit you so clearly crave. I will not be cornered, and sure as hell refuse to be baited. The scheduled reminder is provided by one of my favourite actors: this is my space and therefor my rules apply. If you don’t like it? Door’s that way.

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I have perilously little time left on this planet as it is, and to waste it on pandering to those who feel their agendas are more important is pointless. It would be a lie to say that there isn’t a lot of anger right now, but instead of allowing that to consume everything and ruin my progress as would previously have been the case, it has all been poured into these words. Instead of a bunch of angst-ridden subtweets, you get this instead.

I’m done living my life like this. You don’t get what you’re angling for, it doesn’t happen now or at any point in the future. My real life is about to change, and then I’m the one who sets terms and not you.

Undoubtedly, you won’t even notice a difference.