Shut Up

This is effectively the same rant I had on Wednesday on the Warcraft blog. There’s no point doing it a third time because if after three years people still aren’t listening, nothing is going to change.

In the vain hope someone might get it if I’m simple and honest:

  • We began as ‘friends’ but you invested far too much into the assumption,
  • You then said something that was selfish, unreasonable and made me feel uncomfortable,
  • I asked you not to do that again:
  • You did it again;
  • I stopped talking to you.

No passive-aggressive shit here, people. Just the facts.

Normal Service resumes tomorrow.

The Pleasure Principle

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For a long time, there was a belief that everything I did had to be justified. Then, as time has gone on, a realisation has dawned that actually, that’s not true. A good friend sent me a piece yesterday which sums this up in four lines better than I am ever likely to do in several thousand words:

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I’ve spent a lot of time feeling as if thought processes need justification, but in the end, they don’t. The actions I take are not random or unpredictable: if people look back at events, the reasons why things take place is, undoubtedly, because of their behaviour. Whether it was the ill-thought out comment that is only regretted after the fact, an NSFW picture that shouldn’t have been posted or the DM sent that really, truthfully, shouldn’t have been said… these details are irrelevant.

I’ve stopped reacting in real time to stupidity when it’s abundantly apparent it won’t listen, or can’t hear. This is an even bigger waste of time than spending hours agonising over what people think of me, or complaining about events so far out of my control as to be pointless to concern myself about. All my time and effort now is dedicated to changing what I can, organising positive action and making good on my own promises.

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Of course, there are the moments when those you have developed affection for leave without giving reasons. I have, in the past, written to people who left suddenly or blocked me asking why this took place. It doesn’t happen anymore, because of what I learnt in those first instances: when someone else sees the World in a way that you don’t, that viewpoint is inevitably considered as harmful, and to be avoided.

That’s not how reality works, and it’s taken a long time to grasp that fact. Others won’t blame themselves for their negative actions. That’s what anonymous Internet relationships are becoming the most use for: shifting emotional baggage that you have run out of places to dump in real life. It’s easier to blame the random person who you upset instead and just move on.

That won’t solve the bigger issue.

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Right now, all of my issues are a world away from the Internet. When I return there to try and relax, what is found is often frightening beyond belief. The number of harmful opinions, the people who seem to think they are some kind of arbiter for my actions, that certain thought processes are unacceptable and harmful… and the number of people who will not consider principle… that bothers me the most.

The trick, of course, is to remember that I don’t owe these people a modicum of validation. I have meaningful, reciprocal relationships that matter more. Those who tell me we’re friends without putting in the work are living under a delusion. Those who keep me on their friends’ list because of some misplaced belief I wouldn’t be here without them… and the list goes on. I know who really cares. They show me.

I am no longer interested in your Stupid.

American Idiot

There’s a massive VW Camper van stuck outside our house. When I say stuck, I mean it is effectively wedged under the eves of the garage we call ours, mostly because it came within six inches of taking out my car, which was parked on the drive. My car is now sitting on my neighbour’s drive, and husband is outside waiting to see how these idiots intent to extricate themselves from the mess that has been made. All of this is because we have an area of grass outside that random people periodically get themselves trapped on and (inevitably) we end up towing them off. It is a consequence of being slightly away from the beaten track, and other people being totally incapable of driving. All this was relayed to me last night via my son on his mobile, whilst I attempted to enjoy a meal out.

Needless to say, that didn’t happen.

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The ultimate irony in all of this is that, in two hours, I’m off to trade in my car for a new one. It will be considerably smaller, cheaper (because petrol and less tax) and the issues experienced with the old one will become someone else’s problem to deal with. It has been something of an accident magnet in the last six months… I don’t know why people have decided to try and hit me, wedge themselves between it and hedges or take out the garage instead of hitting it… but this latest incident makes this three, and we all know how Cosmic Bad Luck works. So, let that be the end of this vehicle, and be done with everything.

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All of this is due to the fact a major gas main’s being relaid just around the corner, and everybody thinks our dead-end road is a shortcut, which it never has been and never will be. It is a demonstration of how dumb some people can be when driving, that certain people should never be allowed behind the wheel of large vehicles, and that however hard to try to avoid reality… sometimes, it just finds you. Whatever happens, we have insurance and stuff to cover all of this so it won’t end up as anything other than an inconvenience. However, I won’t forget the weekend, and (as was the case with the girl who wedged herself between my car and the bush outside the house) undoubtedly passes into Family Lore as ‘you remember that time we were trading in your car and someone almost took it out?’

If I’m honest, I’d like less drama.