I keep sabotaging my own following stats: it’s ridiculous, if you happen to be the person online thinking that 10k followers suddenly makes you ‘all that’ the LAST THING you wanna do is be picking out the robots. They’re the ones who don’t start petty spats with you, or make sock accounts to taunt your stupidity in unfollowing them. Except, as the idea of being a digital curator becomes increasingly attractive, it has to be done.

What this process also does is hold up to the light those who are following these type of accounts, and whether they themselves are as real as bios and postings would suggest. Of the people following the account I think’s a robot, three I’ve interacted with. The fourth is also posting very much on US time, and therefore I really never get to see them. However, their feed is muted, and so today I unfollowed.

The reason why I muted them is one of the reasons why stuff has to change.


It is abundantly apparent that for more and more people, Twitter’s just an adjunct of their promotional material. That’s not why I’m here: it’s a living, breathing writing tool, that is increasingly useful to plug into. That means being able to rely on interaction, and when you’re talking to robots? The responses are not nearly as organic as I’d like. Therefore, it’s time to start being objective over who’s listening.

It will undoubtedly mean that I’ll kop some abuse. That’s not a problem. If I am not confident in my assertions, they don’t get shared online, simple as that. In the Kingdom of Dick Moves, being a dick now and again is clearly more than acceptable behaviour for some, right up until someone else calls out your stupid and you need to justify your actions. I have no problem being comfortable, pointing a finger.

If people were really forced to earn each and every new follower on merit…


It’s a twat eat dick world out here, people. I can be objective, polite and really not give a fuck, all at the same time. Those who know me well understand this is a massive lie to boot and I do care, very deeply about everything. However, when all is said and done, you have rules by which to live. If you cannot be true to yourself, really, what is even the point in the first place?

You can call me arrogant and pushy, but it doesn’t stop my quiet, unswerving desire to make the spaces I inhabit better for everybody, not just the mouthy dicks who think they’re all that. If you have nothing to hide, being transparent is a really easy ask. That’s the key: if you’re comfortable and confident with what needs to be done, some random gomer should never derail you from the path.

Once the robots start posting bios, then we really are all in trouble.

Bicycle Race

Saturday and Sunday at the end of July, in this household, are reserved for RideLondon. Husband’s now completed his fourth 100 mile race, and on Saturday myself and the youngest joined him for the Freecycle, with 70,000 other cyclists.

To make it easier to get into and out of town with the minimum of fuss, we took three Bromptons . My husband’s love affair with these folding commuter bikes began when he won one in a contest about a decade ago. Since then, he’s picked up the other two dirt cheap at boot sales and restored them. They are huge fun to ride (though not that great on the arse, as mine still attests this morning) and, I discovered on Saturday, get raced just as often as ‘proper’ bikes do. In fact, on Saturday, after the Ladies Race in London, the Brompton World Championship was held.

It was not the best day weather wise but, I must admit, the experience of cycling past some of the Capital’s most iconic monuments was special indeed. Particularly satisfying was the ride up the Embankment, which I’ve used as fan-fiction backdrops for many things, and to imagine characters running as I cycled did give a bit of a special thrill. In the end we did 15 miles (including getting to and from the car which we parked near the Tower of London.) I’m going to do this every year from now on, because honestly I never need an excuse to be in London.

This year’s medal for my husband is particularly special: it was his best finish so far, and he’s now very close to breaking the six hour mark for the ride:

This year I could follow him around the course too, thanks to a microchip on his bike. It’s amazing how technology has changed since the ride began in 2013, and I have no doubt that will further improve next year. I’m really proud of him every time he completes this, but this one is particularly awesome.

Here’s to taking part in 2018’s events.