I’ll be There for You

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Yesterday, my Husband sent me a text message, cheerfully informing me that he’d registered a WordPress domain. I will admit, there was a measure of surprise over this. I’ve been suggesting that, for about three years now, he might like to write about his passion for cycling: he creates a very good blog on company time, is my #1 Proof Reader of Awesome, and is the purveyor of good stories (although he does tend to ramble, but it is endearing.)

Then, things got serious.

The first batch of output last night was initially liked and then summarily rejected. A discussion was had over the brief, what this particular logo should really be like, and what it was my husband wanted to achieve from the exercise, and suddenly I was back at my first job, designing stuff for people. I’ve now sent him a selection of ‘new ‘ content, and am awaiting word on whether I’ll have to try again again. Between you and me, I think I like this one the most:

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(If you want to go see what’s going on, the blog is here.)

Normally, doing work for family would be a fraught, uncomfortable affair. This time around that is not the case: I’m even considering offering my writing services to Mr. Alt to talk about cycling from a ‘this is fucking scary’ PoV. Mostly, it is me pushing him to share some of the amazing stories he has gathered (especially when he went to Italy last month) and the frankly amazing work he’s done to restore a bunch of metal frames with wheels.

If you have a passion, I think it is your duty to share it with as many people as possible.

Everybody Dance

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My legs still hurt from Friday’s PT.

I’m on a fairly strict food and exercise regime right now. The plan is to see if the removal of certain items from my diet will have any long-term effect on helping me finallyย shift the most stubborn of fat. It is slowly beginning to work.ย Also, I need to work hard or eat less.ย Right now that means more miles and more reps so I can still enjoy what goes into my body. It’s taken five months but there’s also a list of foods to avoid, which sadly means that a couple of favourite snacks are now unsuitable for consumption.

It’s a small price to pay to be healthier than I’ve ever been.

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Mr Alt’s Italian Job is on: I got a phone call from him during the School Run. He was on the Milan Ring Road and it sounded better than when he’s on the M25. Technology’s scary like that sometimes; if you free yourself from the restraint of thinking that says ‘no, can’t do that’ then anything really is possible. I look forward to pictures from his journey too, because my husband is really very good with a camera. It is another one of the reasons why we mesh as a couple so well.

ALSO starting the week with a poem that encapsulates what I am in two verses is brilliant, extremely liberating and frankly the way I want to start every week from now on.ย On the To Do list is the long form work I’m creating for the grown-up, fancy shmancy Poetry contest. It won’t be nearly as fun as this, but they all count in the end.

Just gotta keep writing them werds.

Wide Open Space

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You ever had a day when you realised the fundamental problem in everything was you?

Once upon a time, when this used to happen (and it did quite often, coinciding with hormonal change before or during menstruation) I’d just go backwards. There’d be rows, recrimination and ultimately tears: yesterday all of those happened, but not in the way they had before. In fact, on reflection, Thursday ended up the best day of the week. Even with five hours sleep I know that yesterday was incredibly important. I’ll write about the literary consequences in the appropriate place but psychologically, we are breaking new ground. I’m pretty confident the meditation is what is helping (and I’ll be doing a practice later) but there are other, more subtle factors at play.

I find looking at myself intimidating, and yet next month am planning to start a video diary, mostly because of just that.ย Laying yourself bare is not an issue a lot of the current generation have, because they have grown up with the visual very much front and centre. For me, it is the last bastion of uncertainty.ย Now I am pretty comfortable with what I am, that there doesn’t need to be makeup or a particular type of ‘look’ to merit comfort, the time has come to start playing about with visuals.ย I’m also considering doing audio only readings of poetry with musical accompaniment for Patreon, so everything is coming together quite nicely.

What is at the core of all of this, inevitably, is familiarity with myself, which hasn’t happened for quite some years. This is due to a very particular set of circumstances which, one day, I will pluck up courage to share with the World. For now, the people who do know have been hugely supportive and understanding, and that’s probably all that is required as a result. I’ve also had enough of those people who come to read my stuff and are arrogant and self-centred enough to believe I’m talking about them. For the record, if you piss me off in the future, I’ll use names and make sure EVERYBODY knows what fucking tools you people are.

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The main reason I know things are getting better is because I’m still working on a domestic project I began on Sunday.ย I didn’t get bored, or lose interest, or think the whole thing wasn’t worthwhile. I’m still going, and today (after a second scheduled PT for the week) I’ll be carrying on.ย My personal sanity now depends not simply on internal factors, but the external too. If I can improve everything around me, not simply myself, the benefits are becoming immediately obvious.

The key here is to keep moving forward.

Did It Again

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The company who make my porridge do it in ‘instant’ sachets, with dried fruit to make the whole thing a little less… well, just oats. A while back they stopped making my favourite flavour combination. No more Apple and Cherry for me. Except, a few weeks after the announcement some extra stock appeared in my supermarket of choice. I probably looked a bit strange with the last six boxes of the stuff at the till, but I didn’t care. I’ve been slowly eating my way through them ever since: a packet every couple of days, and using my mindfulness ‘training’ to fully enjoy every bowl. Yesterday was the last sachet.

Sometimes, you don’t realise what matters most until it is too late.

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The World right now provides a very skewed perception if you stare at it continually via the same lenses. By that, I mean using social media as the sole manner of assessing news, or using exclusively as a means to make important decisions. I am genuinely concerned at the number of people who seem to live their lives here, and am all too aware that I am one of them when it comes to promotion of my new venture. There needs to be some changes therefore, and I couldn’t do that without talking time away from the format that is at least part of the problem. So, yesterday is going to be written down to ‘Mental Health.’ It included a PT session (lots of boxing, upper body really hurts) and another 10 miles of cycling. There was also a lot of… well, not very much at all.

Doing nothing is really good for your soul.

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Once I’ve written this there will be a list, as has become de rigeur on a Sunday. Then, it is just a case of getting as much as I can done in the day with a session of cycling inserted in between. There’s a lot of personal stuff to discuss next week, but for now I need to be focussed, organised and just get the stuff done.

Let’s go.