Bang

Last night, something really important happened.

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It wasn’t a dream, that much is clear. This wasn’t waking from something frightening or scary. What did happen was mind recognising an explosion: it wasn’t noise or anything that happened outside either. Inside my brain, something shifted. The first thing that came out of my mouth was the f-word. I have never before remembered being awake and understanding a distinctly different feeling from the moment when I went to sleep. All of yesterday both body and brain were, frankly, exhausted. I think my husband grasped this and suggested a family meal out last night, which wasn’t really that great in terms of food. It did, however, get me out of the house.

It meant when returning, I was almost immediately in bed, and the sleep pattern speaks for itself.

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Lying awake, it was a massive relief that I could stay in bed and not have to be up early. I was reassured that what I’ve been doing for the last few weeks is the right course of action. Issues have been dealt with and finally, after years of carrying emotional fallout from my past, those issues are no longer a problem. Knowing the shortcomings and coping with the consequences, getting better at planning, believing in my own creativity… all of this is now combining to cause (literally) a seismic change in my brain.

Now what needs to happen is to capitalise on these changes and to use the new enthusiasm and drive they are creating to move to a new place. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be starting that right now… :D

Oh My God

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Today is my first WiP (Work in Progress) day where I throw a carefully organised routine out of the window, try not to get too distracted, and just write. So far this morning that’s been surprisingly fruitful, and it means by day’s end not only will I have all my pledges up to date on Patreon, but there’ll be a poem ready to enter a contest. I had to pay to enter: however, what I paid is more than covered by what I’ve managed to produce. Poetry is becoming more and more accomplished with each effort at writing.  That’s all I want, really, consistent progression in quality.

There will also be an effort made to get my novel dusted down and ready to roll, plus a notebook started on all the various other projects I’m dealing with and what states they happen currently to be in. What is giving me most return right now in terms of progress is when I’m really very organised. That means setting out what I want to work on, and finding a time frame that works for each piece. Having learnt in the last year to stick to deadlines (and most importantly not overreach what is possible) it is time to make hay whilst the literary sun shines.

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Son starts 6th Form College on Tuesday as well as the youngest going back to School. After the short and inevitable celebration that will follow, I have to make sure I keep moving forward.

This is the most confident I’ve felt about that kind of progress for quite some time.