Sing it Back

…ooh look, it’s two days into a new month and I’ve not put my belt on yet. Dun worry, that’ll all change tomorrow. For now, it’s probably time to celebrate last month’s achievement.

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4611 MEP’s to beat… that’s gonna take some work. I could strap on the belt 24/7, I suppose, but that rather defeats the object of the exercise. What’s needed here is CONSISTENCY,ย which is really quite easy to work on. Keep the rest days, know when it’s appropriate not to push, and ensure that there’s a proper balance between cardio and strength training.

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I always knew today would need to be an enforced rest day, and undoubtedly as we get closer to Christmas there will be other days where it is impossible to fit in the exercise required. If there’s a feeling on Tuesday morning there’s enough energy to catch up on today’s missed work I will, but it’s more likely to be a gimme. 22 days out of 31 with summat is brilliant.ย 

The aim is 20 days minimum on the calendar for November.

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With the news breaking yesterday that Google’s bought Fitbit, you’ll all soon be able to see my data, all over the interwebs without me needing to do screencaps… ^^ Until the changeover happens, I have plenty of opportunities to work on that 12k a day step total. If I wondered why I was so wiped after Wednesday night this week, I reckon almost 20k including a Blaze with hill incline runs probably had summat to do with it…

That’s tomorrow’s task too, with some heavy lifting thrown in for good measure. Why am I doing all this again…?

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However, I will be very much enjoying not having exercised today, oh yes…

The Great Escape

Well, here we are at the start of a holiday that normally filled me with dread. Not this time around. Even the scheduled Monday dinner with the parents is not nearly as stressy in advance as was previously the case. We might actually be getting somewhere.

I have a lot of body issues right now. There’s a ton of stuff about being organised and on top of stuff to deal with. I finished Blaze last night and was shattered, then worked out I did harder work in the class before than where it should really have happened. Everything’s a bit arse about face, if truth be told, but the shoots of change are unmistakably there.

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The journey right now is comfort: how to I find it, how to keep it, what matters most. Finding a style that suits me, being relaxed in my own skin. All you people who just be and don’t have to stress about stuff like this are unbelievably lucky. Really, you have no idea how amazing this is. ‘Normal’ is often a foreign country, full of people speaking and talking a completely different language.

Finding the comfortable spaces has been ignored for far too long.

The End of the Innocence

From the top of Primrose Hill, what’s left of London that’s not underwater remains asleep, still quietness wrapped in dawn’s rapidly lightening embrace. Sarah straightens, vertebrae clicking back into alignment, before she gets back on the ancient yet indestructible tricycle. She’s hungry, which means that it’s high time to find another suitable community of post Corporationย War survivors who might be prepared to offer nourishment in return for enlightenment and a song.

To the east a large antenna rises from dense woodland, evidence of wood-smoke from a kiln or oven. There’ll be something that needs repairing, because there always is, and maybe at least the chance to exchange entertainment or education for breakfast, even if there’s no tech to fix. With the last of her camping equipment stowed in the bike’s massive and precisely divided forward- mounted container, she’s riding towards a new day with optimism.

Who knows what the morning will present.

Moveable Press Piece

Yesterday was, I think it is fair to say, a bit of personal re-alignment. Accepting you can do nothing to fix the past except ensure that mistakes are never repeated, that letting go of guilt does not absolve responsibility, are important facts to state. Making good on your mistakes however is another matter entirely. We’ve started on that too. It’s all good.

Nah, that’s not necessary. It makes more sense to work than navel gaze. The To Do List isn’t getting any smaller when I sit here talking a good game instead of actually playing it. I am obliged however to post last night’s exercise progress, because it was, is and continues to be the most worthwhile physical endeavour I have ever undertaken.

This is beginning to look an awful lot like genuine progress.

Timebomb Zone

Day 4:ย Wow, that’s a two hours I never want to repeat again. I’m utterly with Duncan Jones: kids are hard work. I know, they didn’t ask to be born and you were the one who make the choice [and therefore accept the responsibility], but BOY some days is it tough. Anxiety-producing, pain inflicting, nerve shreddingly tough. If the sun was out and the country hadn’t just imploded, it would be easier. Today therefore is penance, and I’m surprisingly okay with that.

The Next Chapter Bar

There’s a significant fork in the road up ahead. Watching my husband cycle last night, his level of fitness is a reminder that if things matter enough, you will find a way.ย I don’t eat badly, exercise more than has ever been the case before and slowly, so very slowly, improvement is coming. It is on days like today when I’m mentally wiped that those gains matter so much more. Pushing beyond comfort zones might not be the answer for some, but for me there are days when if I don’t, the consequences can be catastrophic.

I should have started this particular journey with more vigour about 20 years ago.

The Next Chapter Bar

Decided to enter a book contest with the manuscript that keeps getting rejected. It’s really good, deeply personal and largely autobiographical, and I know full well why nobody I’ve sent it to thus far has shown the slightest bit of interest. So, if it gets rejected AGAIN it doesn’t get rewritten a third time. It stays this way, and we look for specialist publishers to send it to, and if that fails I fucking publish it myself, because sometimes it isn’t about compromise. Sometimes, what matters most is the idea, as you wrote it, not how someone else wants you to tell the story.

Occasionally you don’t write in the hope someone else validates you. You need to validate yourself.