Reeling in the Years

This wasn’t the post initially written to schedule this morning. It’s not often work is trashed completely, but yesterday I was very angry. Having a long memory is hard sometimes, especially when parts of it keep stuff from you for perfectly legitimate and understandable reasons. The fact remains that being good is never a sound business tactic. Ruthless wins for a reason. Especially online, it’s always good to be the misunderstood baddie.

I must move past the point where whining about what happened before makes me feel better. It’s like the counsellor said: once events no longer hold an emotional sway over you, it is far easier to get past them. The biggest single issue is detaching emotional from the moment. Yesterday, it became apparent that by far the simplest way of reducing that online is to make sure names don’t come up in my timeline.

There’s someone I follow who is very bravely going through her public issues along a similar line. Yesterday it became apparent that even if I did tell my version of events surrounding other people, nothing is likely to change. It will need to be enough that I’m aware of their duplicity, and maybe this could be the moment when the emotional anger against them is finally let go.

This, therefore, is my fire in which so many people’s influence will be purged.

The jobs I never got, the bloggers who considered themselves morally superior, editors who stole my work and passed it off as their own, podcasters who creeped on me, streamers who used me as comic relief… so many people, all lacking the ability to embrace anybody but themselves. Most of them are still out there, people. Pick your ‘heroes’ with care.

To all the brilliant people who continue to support and nurture me, offer encouragement with enthusiasm, who have funded me (instead of promising and then pretending it never happened) YOU are the real heroes. I see and appreciate ever single one of you, and now is the time when I will begin to pay your generosity back in full.

The hype train is on its way.