Well, here we are, on a very Autumnal Saturday afternoon, and the will to write like this has returned. In fairness, it has been kickstarted by a couple of events, including a Best of the Net nomination and the restart of the Twitter Newsletter. Mostly however, I do miss this form of communication. There’s a lot to talk about right now anyway.
A LOT is going on. I submitted last month to a whopping TWELVE places, one of which has already been accepted, another rejected, so a 50% success rate for the month is the level we’re hoping to maintain. I don’t hold that high hope for a mass of success, but the quality of work is absolutely improving. That is an undoubted, stone-cold fact. In that regard, therefore, we are absolutely progressing.
Yeah, there’s a lot to say. I hope this continues.
Gonna be a tough week, for lots of reasons, none of which have anything to do with football. However, I had an amazing weekend of recycling old work into new collections for different places and, let it be said, that this really is the best it’s been for some time. I could do with more than six hours sleep, and my vocabulary is creaking a bit, but there is still lots to do under the circumstances.
It’s a new week! I’ve been out AGAIN! I went actual shopping and everyfink and there’s clothing for the first time in eighteen months. If it is useful for anything, it’s finding bra tops that aren’t actual bras with clasps that a) fit my peculiar body shape and b) are actually comfortable. This bra, I’m wearing now, is both. Welcome to the Future, boobies.
Yes, I KNOW I should have done this yesterday, but other stuff ended up mattering more.
This is the only blog I’ll write today: I should have done something on Wednesday but, to be honest, this week has gotten away from me. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been immense, but simultaneously anger-inducing. All this will pass, as is always the case, and we’ll be back on the shit from Monday…
I am still recovering from Wednesday: the blister on my foot is now down to an acceptable level of pain, I have received a largely predictable response from the Doctors with reference to my pursuit of a particular diagnosis, and will be gearing up to attack the problem again, with the correct tools at my disposal. Major life changes begin on Monday. It’s all go here, and the goal remains to thrive, which I am.
So much of my world right now is red flags. Yes, the world remains on fire, but sitting complaining about it won’t fix anything. It is becoming increasingly depressing watching individuals who’ve been promising all through Lockdown to kickstart their self-improvement regimes still making the same old posts where it is apparent nothing has changed.
We are all here, flailing with various levels of competency. No-one is really winning anything either. The choices therefore are stark: continue to complain or get on with something constructive. I have a plan to be benching 45kg by the end of September. It looked a bit wonky this morning, if truth be told, but as soon as my brain is in the space, it will happen.
I also have some new notional targets to aim for.
This weekend’s cycling was brutal, and the next two weeks are even harder. At the end of that, we do an FTP test and see if three months of pedalling like fuck has had any appreciable effect on our fitness. Then, quite possibly, we’re going back to trying to run for a bit. I really haven’t thought that far forward, though it will start happening now. There needs to be some future proofing.
We’ve begun the slow changeover of work website resources too: now my ‘work’ is Patreon based, that doesn’t need to run every day. However, it will need to be available for selling things, which also gets worked on this week. So much to do, so little time for whining. It’s why I’m really happy to leave that to people who are clearly better qualified.
I’ve been meaning for a while to update this site’s look: with this change to the HTML it makes sense to try to match up animated GIF action with the headers. However, as GIPHY is now a wholly-owned subsidiary of Facebook… time to look elsewhere for my sources. Eventually, of course, I’ll be able to make my own, and that will be a useful step forward in ability.
Set myself seven things to do yesterday, managed three. Therefore, today’s scheduled rest day has been shunted to tomorrow, as it’s a Bank Holiday here. I did largely relax last night though, and as I have a new phone now (SIM swap ftw) there’s thought to going to take pictures: as I can drive to places now for exercise, plus the fact I haven’t driven for two months…
One of the items on my list is planning for June: I have decided to undertake a major projects, which is asking for forty pieces of writing in two weeks. I’ll know quite quickly whether it is doable or not, a test of my increased capacity to focus to deadline. This is all about my ability to create something from only an idea, plus how to visualise that process from start to finish.
The latter is my biggest single step forward in two months. It also requires a significant shift in personal organization. I believe I’m up to the task, we will see if that confidence is justified by the end of next week. Not everything has to be done in the time frames aimed for, but if I am to succeed going forward, a lot does.
I went to be last night exhausted. There’s been no exercise as an excuse, either: all the stress was mental. This has been a really important week for progress, but more significantly there has been opportunities to utilise skills in new and interesting ways. Then, a career path has been reinvented in just under a week. Old places are being repurposed, new ideas presented. I really need to do some graphics.
In fact, let me get all this done and we’ll talk properly tomorrow.
In bed at 9am last night may not be some people’s idea of enjoyment the Saturday before Christmas, but it worked for me. Considering how peculiar I’ve felt over the last couple of days, this morning’s full-on cold and only minimal mouth pain is an inconvenience I’ll be more than happy to live with. The wound site is healing very well now, massive hole almost completely closed up.
I’ve learnt a lot about my own tolerance for pain over the last ten days or so. Mentally it’s going to be a tough ask to get everything I want submitted in the next nine days, but I’ll be giving it my best shot. One thing can be shifted forward to January, which helps, and with some clear air tomorrow and Tuesday, first drafts should become second and beyond. Focus is what is being practiced today.
After that, there’s a pile of domestic tasks to be knocked off, and when those are done it is time to go sort out some new glasses. My Fitbit comes off tomorrow and won’t be going back on, and I’ll be downloading all my historical data before cancelling the account for good. Let’s hope Santa got the memo about a suitable alternative… and I have cycling to do. Having managed to leg press 150kg in the last week, the bottom half of the body also needs some work.
DAY 11: I deleted yesterday’s blog attempt, because on reflection it wasn’t helping anybody, especially me. A lack of routine has become self-destructive over time. Doing nothing is a perfectly acceptable diversion, undoubtedly, but it is far more sensible to focus attention and direction along a path. It’s why gaming was a constant when everything else wouldn’t support management. Being able to impose routine has distinct advantages to those of us who struggle without.
My Fitbit was broken the week before Christmas, giving Father Xmas the opportunity to replace it with the far smaller (and a lot less painful on my wrists) Charge 3. I also have the heart rate monitor that is specifically designed to record my Blaze classes, that (fortunately) can do everything else too, including running, so it will get used quite a bit going forward. In fact, there’s already been both Xmas Day and Boxing Day cycling which will be completed as often as is possible. There just needs to be weights as balance, which is going to happen once the backlog is broken here.
There’s a bit of paranoia now with the HRM that working out will become more stressful whilst in competition: to compensate, nickname that my belt uses is my gamer tag. This quite effectively removes all issues, because I was always used to being bottom of the damage meters, plus it is no longer about being told to get better. The only pressure to improve comes from myself. It’s also quite satisfying being able to reverse that mindset when I go back into games.
After that? There’s a small/modest ‘Things to do in 2019’ list, the prospect of more stuff that could be won, and a pretty significant pile of editing. So much so, January is not about starting fresh on a bunch of stuff but finishing what is not yet complete. That’s how today will start and finish.
This year, the slate doesn’t need wiping clean, but expanding.