My legs still hurt from Friday’s PT.
I’m on a fairly strict food and exercise regime right now. The plan is to see if the removal of certain items from my diet will have any long-term effect on helping me finally shift the most stubborn of fat. It is slowly beginning to work. Also, I need to work hard or eat less. Right now that means more miles and more reps so I can still enjoy what goes into my body. It’s taken five months but there’s also a list of foods to avoid, which sadly means that a couple of favourite snacks are now unsuitable for consumption.
It’s a small price to pay to be healthier than I’ve ever been.
Mr Alt’s Italian Job is on: I got a phone call from him during the School Run. He was on the Milan Ring Road and it sounded better than when he’s on the M25. Technology’s scary like that sometimes; if you free yourself from the restraint of thinking that says ‘no, can’t do that’ then anything really is possible. I look forward to pictures from his journey too, because my husband is really very good with a camera. It is another one of the reasons why we mesh as a couple so well.
ALSO starting the week with a poem that encapsulates what I am in two verses is brilliant, extremely liberating and frankly the way I want to start every week from now on. On the To Do list is the long form work I’m creating for the grown-up, fancy shmancy Poetry contest. It won’t be nearly as fun as this, but they all count in the end.
Just gotta keep writing them werds.
This is the closest I’ve come to quitting exercising for quite some time.
Yup, four days, and I still couldn’t bend down correctly this morning. I knew I had to at least try and repeat the Challenge, and so went in and did 20 minutes Cardio before I began. My time to beat was 24 minutes, and I’d been at it for 30 when I realised I was 50 reps behind and in enough pain that I cried. Yeah, in the middle of the Gym I just sat down and hid under a towel for five minutes while I bawled my eyes out. Suddenly this wasn’t any fun any more. When I got up my left leg gave and I almost fell over. I hobbled out to the Changing Rooms and sat for ten minutes, with the realisation that suddenly this all got very hard and far more real than it had ever been.
This would have been the moment that Old Me would have given up, but I don’t do failure any more. I accept the issues and work to make them better and today that meant hobbling out of the Gym, understanding that I’m a long way from the person I want to be, but have come too far to stop now. It means icing my right shoulder and going to get Sushi as dinner and not caving to takeout. It also means a 30 second plank before bedtime and 30 second plank in the morning, however uncomfortable my legs feel. Mostly, it is kicking the crap out of my self doubt and making sure I stay on the wagon.
Nobody said this would be easy or fun. Change is hard and painful, and today just proves that if you don’t hurt, it won’t work. I’m not going to let this beat me. I am going to get the weight loss happening again and myself healthier every day. I already know this is a big step forward, and even if I’m in pain tomorrow, we’re gonna make it.
I’m going to get there.